Top Ten Television Crushes: The IPC

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Ha! So yesterday Melissa from Snap Crackle Watch! had me post her top ten movie crushes. Eric, on the other hand, has been threatening for a while to do one if he seen another one of these lists and lo and behold, he was finally pushed too far and a retaliation list popped back to me, but never with bad intentions. Table9Mutant, this is on you! My blog really has turned in to the place to publish these, but it all stemmed from you! Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you another top ten list here featuring some lovely ladies I am sure you can agree on!

Should you be interested in submitting a Top Ten list, draw up a list of either your top ten personal favourite movies or a top ten list by a specific genre/theme and send it along to me at sporadiczoe@hotmail.com. Hope to see a few more lists!

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For the last month I’ve been forced to look at dozens and dozens of images of beefcake-y men in various forms of undress and after Melissa sent over hers I finally cracked. There’s only so much man-boobs a dude like me can take so, in the nature of combat and pride, here’s a list of my favorite and smuttiest babes from TV land!!

10. THE BIONIC WOMAN

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Every heterosexual boy growing up in the 70s in the country where I live got their first woodies to Lindsay Wagner running around in slow motion with her blond hair and gorgeous face. We all had posters of her on our walls and waited patiently for every Wednesday to come so we could catch her show. God bless you, Lindsay. SCHPROING!!!!!

9. TRIXIE FROM DEADWOOD

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How wonderful was the HBO show DEADWOOD?? Cocksuckers here and Cocksuckers there and Titlickers and a bunch of good, old fashioned ass kickin’! What’s not to love about Trixie, the good natured whore who’s not afraid to offer up “an open air blow job” in the middle of the street or to yank her undies off and her skirt up to get past security to shoot some Cocksucker? God love her.

8. THAT REDHEADED CHICK FROM TRUE BLOOD

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Screw whatever the hell her character’s name is because TRUE BLOOD sucks these days but ohhhhh myyyyy gaaawwwwdddd SMOOCH!!!! Sorry, I got distracted. That’s not my new desktop background is it?? YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMM.

7. CHRISSY FROM THREE’S COMPANY

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Every heterosexual boy growing up in the 70s in the country where I live got their second set of woodies to Suzanne Sommers slinking around that apartment with her blond hair and gorgeous face and sizeable – um – acting ability. We all had posters of her on our walls and waited patiently for every Thursday to come so we could catch her show. God bless you, Suzanne. SCHWIIIIIING!!!!!

6. WONDER WOMAN

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Need I say anything here?? This post is getting me all worked up. Is it getting hot in here?? I better go turn on my fan.

5. THE “B” IN APARTMENT 23

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This show only lasted a couple of seasons but I thought it was pretty funny. Or did I just like watching Kristyn Ritter fill the screen with not much on and complain about having to do things like wear underwear and have sex all of the time. *mops forehead*

4. TEGAN JOVANKA (CLASSIC DOCTOR WHO)

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Growing up watching Doctor Who, I remember the classics from the 60s and 70s – the companions were all very chaste, pure and fully clothed. Tegan (Janet Fielding) came around and the producers decided to add some sex appeal and – well – some boobs. Tegan was loud and kind of obnoxious but I REALLY want(ed) to Make It with her. Is THAT my new desktop background???? *loosens collar*

3. PERI BROWN (CLASSIC DOCTOR WHO)

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After Tegan left the show, they brought in someone even sexier, Nicola Bryant as the “American” Peri Brown. Frequently in bikinis and tube tops, Peri was smokin’ hot and the cause of many restless nights. *squirms a little*

2. T’POL (STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE)

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UM…………………

1. MELISSA RAUCH AS BERNADETTE MARYANN ROSTENKOWSKI WOLOWITZ ON THE BIG BANG THEORY

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My current flame of the last couple of ye – I… uh

*passes out*

Top Ten Television Crushes

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Alright, so Table 9 Mutant, Samantha at Sci-Fi Drama Queen, Abbi at Where The Wild Things Are and I were briefly discussing one of these, which I had been contemplating. Sounds like Mikey may join the fray, too. At any rate, I thought that this would be fun to do one and got it together. Without further ado, we’re off!

Sam Witwer as anyone, but I will go with Aidan Waite in Being Human (US)

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As Doomsday or a centuries old vampire or even Starkiller, this guy is just hot, and plays that tortured but strong character so damn well! Aidan Waite is pretty awesome, what with his morals and willingness to do whatever it takes to make  everything right, to protect, to kill, to survive. Also endlessly entertaining, I really do enjoy him!

Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester in Supernatural

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Leather jackets, great music, wicked sense of humour that cracks me up each and every time, hiding in the shadows and so damaged it isn’t even funny, though he keeps a brave face because it is what he is expected to do. Fiercely loyal though incredibly jaded, Dean Winchester is one of my go to choices!

Evan Peters as Tate Langdon in American Horror Story: Murder House (as they are calling it nowadays)

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I really, really liked him in all the American Horror Story seasons, though I am not totally sold on Coven, though he started with such promise. However, in Murder House, he nailed that role of psychopath perfectly. He was gorgeous, he was charming, he had a boy-like quality to himself, an innocence that he wore and worked with so well. You know that what Tate is doing is wrong, yet at the same time he manages to wrap you right around his little finger and be done with it.

Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon in The Walking Dead

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Yes. Yes. Do we see the cigarette? The long hair? The self assurance? The sheer badassness of the guy? Well then I really don’t need to keep justifying.

Zachary Levi as Chuck Bartowski in Chuck

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Now we all know there are very few things to me as hot as a geeky, nerdy guy, so there was no ways that nervous old Chuck was not going to make the list. He is adorable, he is smart and damn hilarious, is a Star Wars fan as well as a little self conscious, which always works in his favour!

Joshua Jackson as Peter Bishop in Fringe

Jackson is not my regular cup of tea, but whatever. Peter Bishop was incredibly smart and well dressed (those jeans and jacket were always just wow), steadfast and always thinking out of the box, yet damaged in some inexplicable way (though that got cleared up later), he managed to string me along just fine all the way.

Dan Feuerriegel as Agron in Spartacus

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Alright, here it is. There are few things that thrill me like a man with a nice mouth and nice teeth. This guy… I don’t know, so not my average cup of tea but then he was just gorgeous, and that smile was a killer (we can completely overlook the fact that he was not straight for the show, he was just something absolutely gorgeous to behold).

Alexander Skarsgård Eric Northman in True Blood

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Though I stopped watching this after I dragged myself through the third season, I have to say that what kept me watching for so long (seeing as I cannot stand Anna Paquin and was not thrilled with the concept), Eric Northman remained quite worth the watch, to be honest, but the show just slid so badly downhill not even he could draw me back. But never mind that, pretty yum, right? Maybe I should just get over the fairy crap and see where it all goes…

Matthew Gray Gubler as Spencer Reid in Criminal Minds

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Reid. Too smart. Ridiculously smart. I adore intelligence in a man. Reid, on the other hand, is intensely intelligent, slightly socially stunted yet absolutely sweet, trying his hardest and has a boyish quality to him that just somehow works here.

Milo Ventimiglia as Peter Petrelli in Heroes

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The brother that was always trying, that was genuinely good in his heart, the man who wanted to make a difference in the world, who was overly curious and intent on getting to the bottom of things, and yes, just damn fine. Oh goodness, I think I have a thing for male nurses…

Honourable Mentions:

Dustin Clare as Gannicus in Gods of the Arena

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More long hair, determination and immense amounts of confidence? Winner all around.

Tyler Blackburn as Caleb Rivers in Pretty Little Liars (don’t judge me monkeys, my best friend roped me into this).

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The hair… the long hair. I am sold on long hair more often than not. Combine that with dark exotic looks and absolutely gorgeous dark brown eyes and a devil-may-care attitude to mask how nice and caring he is underneath it? Just my cup of tea.

Liam McIntyre as Spartacus in Spartacus

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Yep, I am aware that there is more Spartacus on my list but really, these were probably the hottest rebellious slaves in all history with the world’s greatest dental work. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Spartacus was the fearless leader of the slave rebellion, intent on reclaiming his freedom and avenging his dead wife and all the dreadful things he had been made to do under threat of death. Very caring yet at the same time cold and brutal, Spartacus really was the man to watch strive to make a difference, as well as witness the loyalty people felt towards him.