Review: Logan (2017)

“Nature made me a freak. Man made me a weapon. And God made it last too long.”
– Logan

SYNOPSIS: In the near future, a weary Logan cares for an ailing Professor X somewhere on the Mexican border. However, Logan’s attempts to hide from the world and his legacy are upended when a young mutant arrives, pursued by dark forces. – via IMDB

Finally! Got out to see Logan, something I have been looking forward to, but also slightly wary of after The Wolverine, which I absolutely detested. I was hoping that this would be the movie we have all been waiting for for the Wolverine, and let me tell you, it totally is! Hugh Jackman returns as our favourite animalistic antihero, and man, he was just perfect again. As always.

Logan definitely touts a darker, more grown up story, and is so much more human than I expected. This movie isn’t about let’s save the day and take down the bad guys. No, this one looks more at Logan, his relationship with Professor X, and how he is getting on in life, yet is still angry and bitter about many things. Ever the antihero, I suppose. Logan has feeling, and this is evident every step of the way. There is some humour tossed in, nice and dark, but for the most part this is quite an intense drama, and the Wolverine movie we have been waiting for for years.

The effects were really good, and the movie was shot well. You were engaged from the off by both the story as well as the way it all came together, and the movie touts some excellent choreography, which we always wish to see when the Wolverine is out there. The cast is good, too, and I was particularly impressed with Boyd Holbrook, an actor I am familiar with from Narcos. While he was good in that show, he absolutely shone here, and I found myself  incredibly surprised. Also, big fan of his fancy arm.

Logan is heavy, dark, emotional, and just what the doctor ordered. It is a solid outing that will linger for some time after, and definitely cuts to the bone. Longtime fans will be particularly thrilled with how it all comes together.

Rapid Review: Green Room (2016)

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“We’re not keeping you here, you’re just staying.”
– Gabe

SYNOPSIS: A punk rock band is forced to fight for survival after witnessing a murder at a neo-Nazi skinhead bar. – via IMDB

green room

GRADE 8After Saulnier’s debut Blue Ruin (which I loved), I was interested to see what else the writer and director would give us. Needless to say, I was quite excited to hear about his upcoming film, Green Room, especially seeing how it featured Sir Patrick Stewart and Anton Yelchin (RIP), both actors of whom I am rather fond. I found Green Room to be an intense watch, something that took a little while to get going, but was never boring, and when it finally caught into the main story, went barreling ahead with a ton of violence and an impossible situation. I enjoyed it, I really did, and found a lot to like about it. I thought that everyone did a pretty good job with what they were given, and the pacing certainly ratcheted up the tension. I was pleased to see Macon Blair returning alongside Saulnier, and was quite impressed with how incredibly gruesome things were at times (that hand, that belly!!!), and think that it was done well. My husband used to play in a band, so I know what it is to trip out all over the show, borrow money, get paid like crap, and roll into venues that you would rather not be at. However, I can at least happily say there was never a neo-Nazi gig, and just watching the crowd, the venue, the setting, got under my skin, because I really could take a few minutes and see this becoming someone’s terrible reality. The violence is never really extreme or over the top (or I am truly, horribly desensitised to that), but it was used effectively, where it lands its blows hard and fast. Saulnier, of course, made sure that the movie was really nice to look at, too, which is always appreciated. I found Green Room to be engaging from the outset, and something I would highly recommend. I don’t want to say too much in fear of spoilers, so try not to read too much on this. The less you know, the better. I had a really rudimentary idea of what this was, and I was so pleased to know so little.

JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek – Nemesis (2002)

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Well, here we are with the last of the Next Gen movies. There have been some decent entries, and some really meh ones, but aside from that, the whole project has been enjoyable, making even the bland ones tolerable. So… we all know that the Chop is not a Data fan (neither am I) or a supporter of Riker (though that I don’t really get), so how did he feel about this flick that featured a lot of both? Read on to find out what the Chop and I thought about this one!

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SYNOPSIS: Captain Jean-Luc Picard and his crew return to battle a chilling new adversary… that just happens to hold a shocking link to Picard! In the wake of a joyful wedding between William Riker and Deanna Troi, Picard receives another reason to celebrate: the Romulans want peace and the captain will be the Federation’s emissary. But as the Enterprise heads towards Romulus, a brilliant villain awaits–harboring a diabolical plan of destruction and an unimaginable secret that will give Picard his most fearsome challenge. Shinzon, a Romulan-made clone of Picard, wants nothing less than the conquest of the Romulan Empire, the complete destruction of Earth and the death of Captain Picard himself. – via IMDB

jb star trek

Alrighty people. First, before I get into this, I just want to lament this for the other ladies. Now, understand, I am one that prefers a more slight guy, I am not into that whole Thor look and all, BUT Tom Hardy just looked ridiculous. I am so glad that he went from this:

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to this:

tom hardy tie

Nevertheless, Hardy’s strange appearance did not detract from the fact that he delivered his character just fine, it’s just that the script could have been so much tighter and entertaining. Nemesis had such an entertaining concept that was (again) squandered.

Anyway, I actually don’t have much to say about this one. It wasn’t great, I wasn’t a fan, it was pretty long, but it did look fantastic, so there is that at the very least. It was predictable and brought nothing new to the table, though it had the potential to do so – why these films decided not to go the successful route with some of their plots is beyond me. I really liked the way this scene came together, and it was another destructive bit for the Enterprise that looked really good.

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There was also the whole Data thing, which I thought was far too convenient. Meh,  not a fan of that. I was happy for Deanna and Riker, but really? The whole way to continue this movie with the honeymoon being lost laced through it?

I did have myself a little giggle though seeing Patrick Stewart having himself a blast in his little toy though.

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Anyway, I’m finished now. There really is nothing to say about this at all, so I am going to stop trying to fish things out to say.

BUT I can put some more Hardy in for the ladies…

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the chop

First off, I want to say this: Tom Hardy was weird looking when he was young and thin. I remember when I was watching LAYER CAKE (click that if you like) I tweeted those words and some chicks were like “BOOOOOO Isaacs, BOOOOOOO!” and “Go screw yourself, man!!!” and “YOU FUCKING SUCK!!!!” but I stand by this. You can even see a few hate filled comments directed at me in the comments section of that post (not really, but still, love you Kidney!) But here we are again and, as much as I like genuinely like the guy, I present:

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That’s right. That’s a still from Star Trek: Nemesis. He plays the bad guy in this one. He’s also a clone of Jean Luc. I don’t really remember why he’s a clone of Jean Luc but he is and he wants to destroy the Earth. Oh wait, now I remember, the Remans (Not Romulans) cloned Jean Luc to put him into Star Fleet and infiltrate from within.

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Yep.

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MMMM HMMM.

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Word.

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SEMPER FI!! DO OR DIE!!!!

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Here’s mud in your eye!!

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MY EYE!! MY FUCKING EYE!!!

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But seriously, I wasn’t too taken with this one either. I will give it credit for having some EXCELLENT special effects and the scene where the Enterprise rams that Romulan ship was pretty fucking EPIC but I think this franchise was running out of steam by the time this came out and, despite how epic that scene was, it was rather gimmicky. I mean, at one point Picard, Data and Whorf are tooling around a desert in a fucking dune buggy like they’re all pro dirt racers and – conveniently, they happen to find Data’s twin brother who is REALLY named B-4. MMM HMMM.  I wonder if they’ll pull out their trump card and kill Data at the end of this and conveniently have a replacement handy?? Yawn. There’s also more singing in this one. What is it with song and dance numbers with The Next Generation???? Oh well, peace out, TNG.

We’ll say goodbye now and give you a really, really tight, elongated hug:

MSxx

JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek – Insurrection (1998)

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Well, hell. JB and I had a very dramatic, over long and weepy scheduling problem with this post,  so we’re having to post this on an irregular day and both of our OCDs are really acting up. I hope we can make it through this….. ARGH… Anyway – this is the Star Trek with F Murray Abraham and his plastic skin. It’s time for us to present the first ever Zuts True Story Factoid™®!!!

*The skin stretching presented in this movie was, in fact, Abraham’s real skin. At 146 years of age, he was the oldest man to ever star in a Science Fiction Movie, much to the delight of the Prop Department.*

And there you have The Truth!!! Let’s see what JB thought about this thing….

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SYNOPSIS: When the crew of the Enterprise learn of a Federation conspiracy against the inhabitants of a unique planet, Captain Picard begins an open rebellion. – via IMDB

jb star trek

Well… it’s Wednesday, and here’s our latest entry .

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Scheduling conflicts are a bitch. I think the Chop and I are going to need some counselling after this just to get back to a happy place, but anyways. We are not here to talk about our issues. We are here to talk about what we thought of Insurrection.

Well, Insurrection was disappointing overall. There were very few things that I liked about it, more that I just found boring, but hey! I got to get my Halloween nails ready during this! That makes me happy. 😀

halloween nailss

To be very honest, this plot is so ludicrous is makes The Voyage Home whale plot look like some seriously in depth stuff. Basically, desperate to stop the skin stretching and plastic surgery, the Son’a decide to go to war to take over an amazing planet that will maintain their youth. No more stretchy sessions!

flesh stretching star trek insurrection

Anyway. obviously things would not go their way, and this result in Picard and his people staging a rebellion against the Son’a and the Federation that is backing them. Yada, yada, yada. Whatever…

Then Riker and Deanna were getting all cushy, out of nowhere (I suppose this is another relationship that needed to be seen from the show first), Data wanted to be a kid (always wanting to be something he isn’t), Worf had a seriously bad time with going back to hit puberty, Geordi got his eyes back (his reaction to his first sunrise was beautiful though) and Picard got in touch with his lustier and younger side again. Not only was he dancing, which made me laugh, I then found this gif. Perfection.

picard shake it so

The movie improved more toward the end of it, got a little more, erm… exciting, I guess? The pacing was crappy, the humour wasn’t grand, the plot was flimsy at best and I was not overjoyed with this one. I am actually going to strop trying to say something about this weak entry to the Star Trek franchise…

the chop

This movie is so fucking boring,… I’m going to try something new here….

STI1 STI2 STI3 STI4 STI5 STI6 STI7 STI8 STI9 STI10

JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek – First Contact (1996)

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Alrighty then folks, another Friday, another review, we are moving along with these things! Let me just say that this has been an absolute blast, and you must all keep your eyes peeled for upcoming collaborations 😉 Anyway, we have moved on to our second Star Trek film for the Next Gen lot. So… did we share a collective conscious on this one?

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SYNOPSIS: They call themselves the Borg – a half-organic, half-machine collective, with a sole purpose: to assimilate and conquer all races. Led by their seductive and sadistic queen, the Borg are headed to Earth with a devious plan to alter history. After an epic battle against the Borg, Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the Enterprise follow the Borg Sphere back into the 21st century, and must battle the Borg Queen before she assimilates mankind. Meanwhile, Picard and his crew must make sure that Zefram Cochrane makes his historic maiden flight at warp speed, and makes Earth’s first contact. – via IMDBjb star trek

 

So First Contact is (again) not my favourite in the Next Gen repertoire, but there were some cool things that could have been front and centre but then things just went all over the show and the point was lost. It all starts with this pretty cool sequence of Jean Luc Picard looking all scary and stuff as a Borg. Like super cool. Hopping back into the past, I  must say that the new crew did not succeed in doing so as much as the original crew did in The Voyage Home in terms of laughter and entertainment. However, First Contact did boast the stronger story, that cannot be denied.

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There were some cool effects, and I was really wishing that I had seen more of the series for the Borg section to resonate with me more, though I didn’t actually have trouble following it. As you can tell from the gifs that I have used and the ones you will see, I was more taken with the Borg aspect of this than whatever the hell was going on down on Earth. I thought that was a bland storyline, and as much as I enjoy James Cromwell, I thought this role was cringeworthy for him.

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Data did not work on my absolute last nerve in this one, so yay on that front (sorry Data fans – it has been established that he’s like a knock off Spock – in the movies, at any rate). He was actually quite cool for this story, and fit right in there. However, there was one pretty sketchy scene – I did not want to know that Data had the relevant working sexual component and that he had used it in the past. Dammit. I could have done without that nasty knowledge.

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Those Borg were creepy at the best of times, I thought they looked awesome. They were like crazy weird space zombies *shiver*. I mean just imagine that. Yes, yes I am fascinated with this concept, no two ways about it!

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There were some really cool scenes in here, and I was a fan of them walking all over the Enterprise to mess with the Borg plan and all that, I had fun there. I must say, there were plenty little things that made First Contact way more enjoyable and fun, I just really feel that the Earth aspect was pointless, and the movie would not have suffered for it not being there. Actually, in my opinion, they could almost have written a tighter story for the Borg plan as well as the Enterprise crew’s resistance. But no. Let’s have some dancing alcoholic be the sub plot. Thanks. So much potential.

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Then let’s not forget my absolute favourite bit of the movie: Picard being all super badass as a thirties-style mobster. I loved the concept, the costumes, and the way the whole scene came together. Hell yeah, it was pretty epic!

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Anyway, the story was very good (granted that the whole Earth thing was pretty boring for me), and the acting wasn’t too bad. I thoroughly enjoyed the Borg aspect to this (though I am sure that you all noted that throughout my little write up here), and the movie touted some pretty decent effects. I thought the war up on the Enterprise was great, and seeing Picard get all pissy was great, the fights and the lessons he learned. I was so on board with that. Until it went back to Cromwell, who sadly just let me down. Nope, not happy with that bit. Overall, I thought this one came together quite well and I think it’s totally worth watching.

the chop

When I first went and saw this in the theater – I remember coming out of there thinking “GOD DAMN!!! That was a good movie!!” And then I never watched it again. Maybe a little bit here and there but, I just never returned to it. Probably because TNG isn’t my favorite crew. Although I really do like Captain Picard! Frakes and Spiner just grate my last fucking nerve. And this had a lot of Frakes in it. Oh – and Data having sex. Well – not on screen. There’s no machine on machine humping but it’s implied that he gets it on with the Borg Queen. Go, Robot Weenie, GO!!!!

Anyways, I watched this again yesterday and I have to say – well – let’s do this – for ALL of the shit that happens up in space, I give this Five Happy Picards (out of five):

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He’s fucking awesome up there! Yelling and shouting and telling Whorf to “GET OFF MY BRIDGE!” and I loved it that he took it on himself to go find a way to remodulate the weapons and “HAND TO HAND COMBAT IF THEY MUST!!!!” and “THE LINE HAS TO BE DRAWN HERE!!!” He was a total badass!

But then, I have to address everything that happens down on Earth. I found all of that shit VERY lame and I give it Two Unamused Picards (out of Five):

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I mean, shit! James Cromwell irritated the fuck out of me and  the dancing and will Frakes EVER shut the fuck up and what’s with that stupid hat on Cronwell’s head didn’t The Borg send some Borgs down to the planet where are they and did that Vulcan really drink his rot gut tequila and ugh. Overall – I did enjoy myself but it’s not as good as I remember.

And – because I can:

ANGRYJLPP.S. The Borg Queen is sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxy. I would totally – well never mind.

JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek – Generations (1994)

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Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lookie here!! This is my third post in a row to host over here on TSCOABB (pronounced sko-ab for those in the know) (the T is silent). Well, maybe it is, maybe it’s not – I just made that shit up. Now we enter the Next Generation phase and, like I wrote below, these certainly aren’t my favorite movies or crew. I guess I just never really identified with them like I did with original gang. I thought Data was kind of a Spock rip-off and I just never got into Ryker. I wonder if JB liked this?? Let’s see!

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SYNOPSIS: In the late 23rd century, the gala maiden voyage of the third Starship Enterprise (NCC-1701-B) boasts such luminaries as Pavel Chekov, Montgomery Scott and the legendary Captain James T. Kirk as guests. But the maiden voyage turns to disaster as the unprepared ship is forced to rescue two transport ships from a mysterious energy ribbon. The Enterprise manages to save a handful of the ships’ passengers and barely makes it out intact… but at the cost of Captain Kirk’s life. Seventy-eight years later, Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the Enterprise-D find themselves at odds with the renegade scientist Tolian Soran… who is destroying entire star systems. Only one man can help Picard stop Soran’s scheme… and he’s been dead for seventy-eight years. – via IMDB

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Alrighty, I am going to be dead honest here: I am not a fan of the Next Gen movies. Sorry people, but it is true. I find them to be… meh… I think a large part of that I am going to blame on Data irritating the absolute hell out of me all the time. Apparently I am seriously in the minority on my opinion there, but I really don’t care. He sucks more often than not! Generations was most certainly a less irritating outing for him though.

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I know that this one is definitely one of the better Next Gen films, but I was still not bowled over by it. It was great to see Scotty, Kirk and Chekov, however briefly, before moving on to the meatier side of things, but I just felt that this was a bit of a missed opportunity. There was so much that just felt rushed, and then other stuff that just took forever to go anywhere. Like Picard’s nephew dying, it was a serious thing that was almost just swept under the rug as though it was unimportant. Confused me endlessly, I won’t even lie.

Sadly, my favourite bits all featured the original members. Chekov taking command and making nurses of random people made me giggle, though the situation was supposed to be serious. I also could not lend credibility in the Enterprise just leaving Spacedock, magically encountering a problem moments out, yet are able to say that nobody else is close enough to go on ahead and sort it all out. That Enterprise wasn’t even actually ready to leave Spacedock at all, it wasn’t equipped with just about anything, but they are supposed to go ahead and answer distress calls. Mmmmhmmmmm. Sure.

I am, however, a fan of Patrick Stewart, and I did enjoy his character of Picard. I just think that it is a little more difficult when the majority of the crew members are just there for me, and not necessarily people I like. They weren’t people I got involved with at all, and I don’t feel like they contributed anything of value to the story. Don’t get me wrong, I was never a Kirk fan per se, but the rest of the crew from the original films was awesome! I suppose we will see if anything changes and anyone grows on me some more this time around, but I am not so sure.

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Kirk’s ultimate write out was just a little… meh. It was embarrassing and fast and not the kind of goodbye you would expect after all this time. I suppose I wanted more. This movie had a really weak premise, a lot of lull, other arb stuff just happening. I think I was just let down because I expected more bang from having the two captains together. That alone had the potential to just be awesome, and it never happened. Oh well, let’s see what the next one brings next week!

the chop

Hi. I don’t know if I am going to take any shit for this or not but… I never really got into this particular franchise… I know this is one of someone’s favorite TV SHOWS, but when this came out I had just turned 16 and was more interested in tooling around town trying to pick things up.1 That never really worked2 so in the end I had to go get a job so I could pay for gas and would sometimes catch these on re-runs late at night when I had come home from doing some underage beer drinking in the parking lot behind work (and failing to make out with anyone)3

So – this being the case – I am not TOO familiar with the TNG universe aside from 26 year old drunken memories of late night TV and having the hots for Marina Sirtis.4

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Obviously, I’d seen this one because this is the one where Kirk dies5 but I’d only seen it the one time and wasn’t particularly impressed6 but I gave it another shot yesterday and…. yeah, sure…7

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I think one of the things that really puts me off of TNG is Jonathan Frakes.8 I just can’t buy into him as a tough leading man. I also really can’t stand Brent Spiner and there was a LOT of Data in this movie.9 I do like the rest of the cast though, minus Whoopie Fucking Goldberg10 and the story was solid, but in the end I just felt like this was OK and, I’m not too familiar with the show but how about some of this:

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I might need to check that episode out. Anyway, when I said I was watching this for our big project on twitter, the Nutter11 I linked to earlier said something like “DON’T YOU FUCKING SAY ANYTHING NASTY ABOUT PATRICK STEWART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and I said of course I wouldn’t because I love the guy and Jean Luc Picard is a stud. So, I figured it would be appropriate to end this with a little bit of this:

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1 Chicks
2 DSB (See: Star Trek 3)
3 IBID
4 DSB Cure-All! (Patent Pending)
5 SPOILER!!!!
6 Not Arsed
7 IBID
8 IBID
9 Emotion Chip Bullshit
10 GROW SOME EYEBROWS WOMAN!!
11 What a Wanker

Review: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

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“The future: a bleak desolate, place. Mutants and the humans who helped them, united in defeat by an enemy we could not stop. Is this the fate we have set for ourselves? Could we have done nothing to stop it?”
– Professor Charles Xavier

A dystopian future of bleak proportions play out the days of the remaining mutants. Made made Sentinels are tracking and hunting down the mutants. Mutants and people who attempted to help them have been captured, they are being butchered and hunted and murdered. Their race is nearing extinction. Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page) works with Bobby “Iceman” Drake (Shawn Ashmore), James “Warpath” Proudstar (Booboo Stewart), Peter “Colossus” Rasputin (Daniel Cudmore), Roberto “Sunspot” da Costa (Adan Canto), Clarice “Blink” Fergusen (Fan Bingbing), and Bishop (Omar Sy). They have been relatively successful at avoiding the Sentinels and their tracking beacons. They meet up with Charles “Professor X” Xavier (Patrick Stewart), Erik “Magneto” Lehnsherr (Ian McKellan), Ororo Storm Monroe (Halle Berry), and Logan, a.k.a. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman). Kitty is asked to send Charles’s consciousness back to the seventies, when Raven “Mystique” Darkholme (Jennifer Lawrence) killed Boliver Trask (Peter Dinklage), setting this entire debacle in motion. Mystique’s DNA is also what has made the Sentinels so strong. Charles knows his body will not survive it, and Wolverine steps forwards. His body can heal quickly, and he decides that he will be the one that will have to do what he can to make it right.

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“Basically, your body will go to sleep while your mind travels back in time. Whatever you do won’t change anything, not until you wake up. And then everything will be different, and you’ll be the only one who knew what happened before.” – Kitty Pryde

Returning to the seventies, Logan visits Charles’s school, but finds it shut down. He runs into Hank “Beast” McCoy (Nicholas Hoult), and a fight ensues. Ultimately Logan gets to speak to Charles (James McAvoy), and is shocked to find him walking around, but it seems he is powerless. He is taking a serum created by Hank which allows him to walk but blocks his telepathic abilities. Logan cannot understand how and why Charles is such a shattered man, embittered, twisted, furious with the world. Ultimately Logan convinces Charles that he needs his help, and that his older self and Erik have sent him from the future. They need to get Erik (Michael Fassbender) to help, though he is imprisoned at the Pentagon. Enlisting the help of Peter “Quicksilver” Maximoff (Evan Peters), they break him out. Naturally he and Charles have got issues with each other, but they really need to find a way around them so as to work together to stop Raven, to prevent the ghastly future that Logan has come from. He also does not have a lot of time, seeing as the Sentinels are tracking them in the future, and if they find them there will be a problem.

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“All those years wasted fighting each other, Charles.” – Erik Lehnsherr

Trask is having serious getting his Sentinel program approved, and it getting progressively angrier about it, as he perceives mutants to be a terrible threat. Tracking down Raven proves to be a bit of an issue, and nothing about their intervention goes even remotely as planned. Erik has a different idea about saving the future, and attempts to kill Raven after stopping her from killing Trask. Charles is angered, and Logan is losing his tether to this era and really needs to make it back to them. Trask has scraped some of Mystique’s blood off the pavement and is working with Major William Stryker (Josh Helman), but they need more DNA. The world witnessed the bloody fights in detail, and are terrified now that they know mutants exist. President Richard Nixon (Mark Camacho) calls for the execution of the Sentinel program. Mystique needs to recover after having barely escaped Erik’s intentions. Logan, Charles, Erik, and Beast need to find a way to fix what has happened, but they all seem to have other ideas about how they are going to go about it. Logan has to convince Charles to regain his abilities, to make a difference, though Charles seems to have no desire whatsoever of getting back on that track. Charles, meanwhile, is desperately struggling to get through to Raven, to express his apologies, to make things right.

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“There is a new enemy out there: mutants. You need a new weapon for this war.” – Boliver Trask

Will Charles be able to salvage things between him and Raven? Will Erik always have the outlook on the world that he does? Will he and Charles find a way to work with each other? Will Logan be able to band them all together on time and have them change the past, to impact the future? Will Charles give up the use of his legs to harness the power of his mind? Will they be able to create an alternative future, one where mutants are not hunted and slaughtered, where they live in freedom? Will Mystique successfully kill Trask?

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“Just because someone stumbles and loses their path, doesn’t mean they can’t be saved.” – Professor Charles Xavier

I must say that I was exceptionally impressed with this. This was a fine return to form for the franchise after that awful Wolverine film of last year. Hugh Jackman reprises his role of Wolverine and impressed me endlessly. Then there was the combination of bringing Ian McKellan and Patrick Stewart back for their roles as the older Charles and Erik, and crossing that with the younger versions of themselves, portrayed by James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender. It was amazing to see the two separate generations combined in one film. The effects in this film were amazing and definitely assisted with the thrill ride. The dystopian future which the mutants find themselves in really is dreary and depressing. Seeing Charles and Erik united once more was something to see, always being the best of friends but always being on completely opposite sides. The performances were fantastic, and there was plenty of humour considering the serious subject matter, but that never stopped it from being intense. I really, really liked the plane scene, the reasons Erik and Charles both had, it was one hell of a scene. Evan Peters as Quicksilver is something that I really did not see coming. I adore Peters as an actor, he amazes me, and I was sure he was going to do the best with the material that he had. However, I had no idea that the material was going to be so great, and he was truly a showstealer every second he was on screen. The concept of the film was great, and wasn’t too intense to wrap your mind around. Seeing Charles in his confused state as his younger self was a difficult thing to watch. Angry, embittered and sour, McAvoy truly delivered in his role. Fassbender, too, impressed me endlessly as Erik, imprisoned and furious. The tension between the two was quite heavy, and McAvoy and Fassbender truly sold it. Wolverine was funnier in here than he has been recently, though I have no issues with seeing a serious and dramatic Logan, it seems that the fans only want the lighthearted man, cocky and sure of himself. Then there was the whole Sentinel story, which was exceptionally interesting, coming together extremely well. Lawrence delivered another solid performance as Mystique. Definitely worth hauling out your cash for and seeing in theatre, X-Men: Days of Future Past delivered far more than expected, delivering a solid film for the year!

Review: X-Men – The Last Stand (2006) – Screenkicker Movies

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I’ll get to the point of this review straight away.  X-Men: The Last Stand is complete and utter shit.  I know I don’t speak for everyone but you’ll struggle to find anyone who really likes the film.  It would take about about a week for me to explain all of the aspects that I hate but by then Days of Future Past will have been released and you’ll all stop listening. You see, talking about the movie actually makes me nauseous so I’ll do it through the medium of art (let’s see if those 8 years of study at the finest art colleges* in the world pay off).

this may or may not be a lie.

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Thank you so much Mikey! Really appreciate this, and love the layout! Really sticking to the theme haha!

 

Review: X2 (2003) – Silver Screen Serenade

X2 ONE SHEET A ¥ Art Machine Job#5263 ¥ Version A ¥  02/28/03

So when Zoë shared her plans to have an X-Men Blogathon to prepare for the upcoming Days of Future Past, I was totally in. I’d been thinking I ought to do something to get in the spirit, and I think this is just the ticket! Kudos for the awesome idea, Zoë!

When given a choice between the X-Men films to review, I immediately snatched up X2: X-Men United. In my opinion, this is the X-Men film to beat. Let’s talk about why, shall we?

Synopsis: “The X-Men band together to find a mutant assassin who has made an attempt on the President’s life, while the Mutant Academy is attacked by military forces.” –www.imdb.com

Why it’s awesome:

That opening! X2 doesn’t waste any time getting right into some action. I mean, an assassination attempt on the president within the first five minutes? I’m paying attention! And as for the would-be assassin…

  • NIGHTCRAWLER IS THE BEST. Seriously, he might be my favorite thing about this film. Played brilliantly by Alan Cumming, Kurt Wagner a.k.a. Nightcrawler is just too freaking cool. His look, his power, his personality—I feel like this film nails it. He looks scary, but he has a heart of gold, and with only a few details, you get a sense of his tortured past. Plus, I love the designs on his skin. “One for every sin,” he claims. Very nice touch.

  • Patrick Stewart as Professor Charles Xavier. Yes, Professor X is a character we’re introduced to in the first film, but he continues to shine here as the strong, wise, soft-spoken patriarch of the X-Men family.
  • Hugh Jackman just…is Wolverine. At this point, I do believe Logan a.k.a. Wolverine has been a bit overexposed (he has a huge role in every X-Men film except First Class, where he’s limited to a brief albeit delightful cameo), but this is the surly tough guy’s second film appearance, and it’s great.

  • Ian freakin’ McKellen as Erik Lehnsherr a.k.a. Magneto. So much yes. Aside from Tom Hiddleston’s irresistibly fun Loki, McKellen’s Magneto is my very favorite Marvel villain. He’s wonderfully suave, clever, and brutal, and his complicated “frenemy” relationship with Professor X is brilliantly portrayed. Also, his prison breakout scene is arguably the best moment of the film. Sheer awesomeness.
  • Rebecca Romijn as Raven Darkholme a.k.a. Mystique. We don’t know much about her, but what we do know is that she’s sexy, sassy, smart, and an undeniable badass. She has some great moments in this film, but my personal favorite is when she breaks into William Stryker’s facility, then slides through a closing door while flipping her enemies the bird. Win.

  • The coolness of Colossus (Daniel Cudmore). We may not know much about him, but man does he look awesome.
  • The creepy intensity of William Stryker (Brian Cox). It’s hard for a plain old human villain to measure up to mutants, but Stryker does the job perfectly.
  • Bobby’s “coming out” scene. When Bobby Drake a.k.a. Iceman (Shawn Ashmore) leads a group of mutants to his family’s house, he has to confess to them what he really is. The family’s reaction is less than favorable. You can’t help drawing parallels between this and the struggles of the gay community. It’s a smart tie-in to a very relevant social issue.
  • The Phoenix teasers. There are a couple of them in this film, and even though Phoenix a.k.a. Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) doesn’t turn out quite like fans had hoped, the hints of power are still pretty great.
  • Yuriko Oyama a.k.a. Lady Deathstrike (Kelly Hu). When those adamantium claws sprout from her fingertips and she takes on Wolverine, it’s the best.

That scene near the end where the mutants talk to the president. Everything freezes, it’s dark and stormy, the mutants speak from the shadows…Mr. Prez, you’d better LISTEN!

  • In general, I just think the script is really sharp for this one. The dialogue is great, the pacing pretty spot-on, and the story, though ambitious, works well. Kudos, X2!

Clearly, I love this one. But if I have to pick on a few things…

The (few) things that bother me:

I don’t love Jean, Rogue (Anna Paquin), or Storm (Halle Berry), and I hate that because they’re all such potentially awesome characters. The problem is Famke Janssen can’t act her way out of a paper bag, Rogue doesn’t have nearly enough sass and is a little whiny (I blame the writers more than Paquin), and Storm is miscast as well as sans the cool African accent she is supposed to have. I read a list the other day of miscast X-Men where the writer suggested Angela Bassett instead of Berry in the role. Anyone who has seen Bassett in American Horror Story: Coven knows why that idea made me giddy.

angela bassett
BEST. STORM. EVER.

I hate the Logan/Jean/Scott love triangle. Is that a thing in the comics? I hate it. I hate how it makes Scott a.k.a. Cyclops (James Marsden) act toward Logan, I hate how Jean kind of leads Logan on, and I hate how it makes Logan a bit mopey. Do you guys feel the same? I don’t know. Maybe the prevalence of love triangles in, like, every recent book and movie has made me bitter toward them.

love triange
make them staaaaahp!
  • Stryker’s team breaks into the X-Mansion like it’s child’s play. Isn’t that place supposed to be super duper guarded? I feel like Professor X would’ve put more thought into that.
  • John Allerdyce a.k.a. Pyro (Aaron Stanford) is just an annoying psycho. There’s not much done to develop his character, and by the time he abandons the X-Men for Team Magneto, I’m like, “Whatever, bro.” Could not care less. Do we even really need him?
  • So if you’ve gotten this far, I’m sure you don’t care about spoilers, but SPOILERS! So Jean heroically sacrifices herself by stepping outside of a jet full of her X-Buddies and powering it up before rushing waters come to drown them. Here’s my question: Why couldn’t homegirl power up the jet from the inside? I guess you could argue that she also has to hold back the waters, but earlier in the film she stopped a missile from inside the jet. I see no reason she couldn’t hold back the water from inside it, too.
GET IN THE JET, YOU DUMB BITCH.

Summary:

I love this film. In my opinion, it’s the best X-Men so far (we’ll see how Days of Future Past stacks up), and it does all the things a good sequel is supposed to do: show us more of the characters we love while introducing a few awesome new ones, thicken the plot and put it on a grander scale, and improve upon and/or equal the previous film in greatness. Check, check, and check. This is one of my favorite superhero films for good reason.

My Rating: 9/10 (Probably an A on my rating system)

Thanks so much for letting me participate, Zoë!  X-Men Blogathon ruuuuuules! 😀


Thanks a million for participating Cara, this was an awesome review! I would have loved to see Bassett rock the Storm role!