Review: Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017)

8

“Alright, you son of a bitch!”
– Sheriff Dan Tashtego

SYNOPSIS: Sheriff Dan Tashtego and a team of creeper hunters enlist the help of officer Davis Tubbs to help stop the monster’s eating spree. – via IMDB

Holy shit, another one of these?! I don’t even know what to do with that! When I saw this on Netflix I was sure that there was some kind of a mistake, but no, there (unfortunately) is not. Naturally this meant that I had to check it out and see how it goes because really, the last one was pretty terrible. In comparison, it was a damn masterpiece.

This movie features more slow-mo scenes than you can shake a stick and and should legally be allowed. I am telling you, it dragged that movie out into that intolerable zone, too. This movie was entirely too long, and entirely too lame. They are still trying to link up these three movies as being part of the same 23 days and all that, but hell, it’s getting a bit long in the tooth now, and it is really starting to jumble the already dodgy timeline. Like what, he drops to his knees, screams and yells and performs and birds of carrion rain down from the sky and they “know what he is” and all that and then he just moves along all hunky dory to hunt some kids on a school bus? What?

Jeepers Creepers 3 is bogged down by a ton of dodgy CGI, so it was certainly not going to be winning any love for me. I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR THE VANITY PLATE! This truck is so smart it probably waltzed into the DMV and ordered a plate. Also kept itself clean and running and reading for Jeepers for when he returns every 23 years. Because really, WTF? It can think for itself? Protect itself? Drive itself? What is this? Never once has it been even remotely alluded to, and then this movie this stupid thing is zipping around and responding only to the Creeper. What on Earth is even going on anymore?!

While we are on a tangent on what’s wrong with this movie, let’s not forget the characters or the acting. It was some next level terrible stuff, and horribly awkward to sit through because they all took themselves and this project way too seriously.

Anyway, apparently the third time is not the charm in the case of Jeepers Creepers 3. The movie feels like it is a century long, has awful effects, no answers, lame action, and a shitty story. Skip this stupid thing. Definitely the worst of the thee, and hopefully they will really just leave this alone now, it’s getting really old.

Review: Jeepers Creepers (2001)

2

“You know the part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid, and everybody hates them for it? This is it.”
– Trish

SYNOPSIS: A brother and sister driving home through isolated countryside for spring break encounter a flesh-eating creature which is in the midst of its ritualistic eating spree. – via IMDB

I remember this movie being a pretty big deal when it came out and I was a rugrat. I remember I watched the crap out of it, too. I remember watching it a few years back and thinking that there were a hell of a lot of issues with it, and there are a lot of silly logic issues with it. I didn’t enjoy it very much. Then I felt like watching this the other day and I enjoyed it… if you can find it in you to not look at those things a touch too closely, you might be in for a relatively decent horror.

That could also just be because I get nostalgic when watching this, I don’t know. There are flaws to be found here, sure, but that is most movies, and a problem that especially plagues horror movies. There is also a lot of fun to be had with this, too, if you let yourself have it. Justin Long is quite entertaining here, and manages to hold his own in a lead role. The characters make a lot of super stupid decisions, but are also quite aware of their shortcomings, too. I just need to reiterate how stupid these characters are, and the things that they do defy logic, but I suppose it would be a totally bland story if they saw him dumping bodies, called the cops, went home, and heard no more. That doesn’t sell movie tickets.

The monster, too, is icky. He’s a weird one, and is kak creepy in his truck and his duster, but the effect is somewhat ruined when you get to see too much of him. At least the movie doesn’t insist on this. But seriously, initially out in the country and being chased by a crazy trucks, one you later see the occupant of dumping bodies and then hunting you down? It works so well. Gets a little deliberate after that, but it’s okay. It’s a crazy ride. There are a lot of things that remained unanswered when watching this, and things that aren’t really addressed. The characters are not overly complex, neither is the story, it just wants to give us some screaming college kids running (unsuccessfully) for their lives, and it works for some light popcorn entertainment.

Overall, Jeepers Creepers might be flawed, but it is also a fun horror to watch. It’s a quick one, too, and doesn’t overstay its run time, and has a very high school horror night feel going for it, which is great. Sometimes that is all you want. If you aren’t looking for horror movie classics, this should be entertaining enough for you. If you can overlook how ridiculously stupid it can be. I guess that’s what makes for the love/hate relationship one can have with this movie.