Rapid Review: A Good Day To Die Hard (2013)


a good day to die hard poster

“What’s with the “John” shit? What happened to “Dad”?”
– John McClane

SYNOPSIS: Iconoclastic, take-no-prisoners cop John McClane, for the first time, finds himself on foreign soil after traveling to Moscow to help his wayward son Jack – unaware that Jack is really a highly-trained CIA operative out to stop a nuclear weapons heist. With the Russian underworld in pursuit, and battling a countdown to war, the two McClanes discover that their opposing methods make them unstoppable heroes. – via IMDB

a good day to die hard

GRADE 2Are you kidding me? Oh my goodness! I mean I have always heard that this one was the worst of the lot, I have read the rages, I have gone through it all, but I did not think it would be this bad. Hell, I had a friend who went out while he was in England to see this, paid in pounds and got up and left because he could not bear to suffer but one more minute of it. I think I am wholeheartedly in agreement there! Wow, what a pile of crap movie! Everything about this sucks. Let’s start with Jai Courtney… no wait, I will backtrack to this. Let’s start with  McClane’s kids… they are total freaking ingrates, rude to boot, and annoying as heck. Well, Junior more so than sister Lucy, but not by much. Goodness! I mean I know people have issues with their folks, most do, and I get that he was a relatively absent father and a douche, but come on! If they had set the premise up better for the both of the kids and McClane, I could have gotten more on board with it. However, it was not. Moving along from that back to Courtney… no. Just no. I have not seen a single thing with him in it yet where I thought he was alright. This was no exception. The story is a dreadful mess, and the humour is awful, not funny, forced and awkward I didn’t like it. Let’s not even talk about the sketchy as hell effects that are all over display here, I actually cringed. The dialogue… oh my goodness, why?! I see absolutely no reason why this movie needed to be made, nary a one. What a waste of my time. Ugh. There was like no chemistry between Willis and Courtney, and I cringed watching them together, and my eyes rolled at the shallow story that was predictable right off the bat. There was nothing that really had me rooting for anyone, I was over it within the first ten minutes, and the story makes these huge leaps and bounds that just don’t fit it. What a mess! I seriously cannot think of any redeeming factors, and I am going in loops here with all that I did not like, so maybe it is best I stop. I see what they were trying to do here, but they should have just left it well enough alone.

Rapid Review: Die Hard – With A Vengeance (1995)


die hard with a vengeace poster

“Why me? What does he got to do with me?”
– John McClane

SYNOPSIS: A man calling himself “Simon” begins a reign of terror in the streets of New York: he threatens to detonate bombs around the city unless Detective John McClane cooperates in a game of “Simon Says”. McClane has a bad hangover and a bad attitude, and isn’t in the mood for games, especially this one. – via IMDB

die hard 3 with a vengeance

GRADE 6.5So, this one started out and is definitely different from the previous two. Something I was not a fan of, and I don’t care what anyone says about it, it is the race card. I know this is an old movie, and I know it was brave for the time, but I am so over hearing about “it’s because I’m black” and “it’s because I’m white” – and before you judge, chill here in South Africa for a little, and we will see how you feel about it then. It was relentlessly hammered in, over and over, and it was so unnecessary. It did not make me laugh. In fact, it just peeved me, as you so obviously can tell. Really bad. Okay, now that we have the race card bitch session out of the way, let’s move on to the movie. What I did like about this was the riddles, which gave a smarted edge to the movie, something that was not exactly present in the last one. However, it also featured characters I did not give a crap about and didn’t care to see whether they made it or not. The main villain was interesting, and I suppose it was good for tying the movies together, but this just wasn’t my favourite. I wonder if these movies really are just a male thing? I don’t know. It was shot quite well and looked pretty good, but the movie just never sucks you in the way it is supposed to, and Willis just came across as a little tired here, which is a pity, because he is usually the best thing about these films. Jeremy Irons was a solid pick for Simon, and definitely was worth a watch. Better to see him in person than to continually hear him on the phones. Uhm, again, don’t really have too much to say about this. I do feel that the movie picked up when it was established that the Federal Reserve was being hustled, and that’s where it got interesting and worth watching, but it is a long prelude to that, and the racial angle is littered throughout, so it makes for a chore to watch.


Rapid Review: Die Hard (1988)


die hard poster

“‘And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.’ Benefits of a classical education.”
– Hans Gruber

SYNOPSIS: NYPD cop John McClane goes on a Christmas vacation to visit his wife Holly in Los Angeles where she works for the Nakatomi Corporation. While they are at the Nakatomi headquarters for a Christmas party, a group of bank robbers led by Hans Gruber take control of the building and hold everyone hostage, with the exception of John, while they plan to perform a lucrative heist. Unable to escape and with no immediate police response, John is forced to take matters into his own hands. – via IMDB

die hard cowboy

GRADE 7.5Bruce Willis is endlessly entertaining as John McClane – he’s insufferable, he knows it, but he is really good at what he does, and he misses his family. So I suppose Hans Gruber deciding to screw with trying to patch things up with his wife wasn’t going to go down too well. The whole way through McClane is the man, and you have to admire and appreciate him. I had a good laugh at his silly comebacks and overall style. Alan Rickman needs to be commended for his role of Hans Gruber because that is one movie villain who is simply awesome. That’s right, awesome. I was not aware that this was his first feature length film, and I never would have guessed. He is so well constructed, intelligent and chilling and you just want to see what he will do. You know how I like my villains to be written! Plus the way that Rickman and Willis play off of each other is just wonderful – their continual banter and opposing desires were constantly at war. Gruber really was the biggest selling point for me when it came to this film. I also liked the chats between Al and McClane, got a few smiles in there. I enjoyed the way that this movie progressed – it takes time to set the scene, to start up and move on to the events that are about to unfold, and doesn’t become this crazy intense action movie immediately. It gets there, but it takes time, and that’s what makes this so good to watch, but it is also something that is going to count against the film for some. I am not one that minds a longer movie though. Maybe not Lethal Weapon great (do I hear the mobs assembling?), but cool nonetheless.