Review: I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)

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“Bless me father, for I have sinned. It’s been a year since my last confession. I’ve never told anyone about this. Not my mom, not the police, or not even my friends, except for the ones who were there, well, they’re not around anymore. You see I, I killed a man, but it was an accident.”
– Julie James

SYNOPSIS: Ever since killing the Fisherman one year ago, Julie James is still haunted by images of him after her, causes her relationship with Ray Bronson to suffer further. When her best friend Karla Wilson wins free tickets to the Bahamas, Julie finds this a perfect opportunity to finally relax. But someone is waiting for her. Someone who she thought was dead. Someone who is out again for revenge. – via IMDB

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GRADE 1Goodness. If you thought the last one was bad, then there is this one. Makes the last one look absolutely freaking phenomenal. This one is so cheesy, too much for me to even handle. The dialogue is so bad is made me cringe over and over. The whole concept was a mess, too. This girl winning a random Fourth of July trip to the Bahamas? Uhm, sure then. It was implemented terribly.

Let’s not forget the awful relationship between Ray and Julie. After the super soppy conclusion of the last one, you would think they are in heaven? Hells no! That would be too easy. Let them fight and argue all the time, make Ray out to be the tool (pffffffff – typical), and throw in Julie’s best friend, constantly telling Julie she should drop Ray (!!!!!) for Will. What a stand up friend! The characters overall were just awful. I think the most offensive one was Tyrell – what a sex crazed douche man.

Okay, back to the atrocious movie. So these friends go to the Bahamas, which is naturally deserted. You need an empty island, man! Also, there was that stupid, perfunctory fight between Julie and Ray, so she is out with her three friends (one being the icky Will), and Ray has been attacked while on the way to make up for the stupid fight with Julie. Ugh, the dramatics and nasty plot devices man. How weak. Jack Black, too, was here, and you all know what a HUGE fan I am (please do not miss my sarcasm). That only caused for more irritation for me.

The logic is so broken, and the story is beyond ridiculous, and the movie is crammed with these lame ass attempted jump scares. The acting is awkward, too. I will always love the way that the bodies and blood in these movies magically disappear within moments, so that someone just looks mad? Ugh, as if this movie wasn’t offensive enough, it actually tried to bring in voodoo and an elaborate backstory, which was just outright embarrassing. The plot twist was also predictable to boot, and the movie was unnecessarily long. No, this isn’t even like a fun slasher or anything. It is bad. Skip the damn thing! If you must, watch the first, but not this.

Review: I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

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“We killed a man and ruined the lives of everyone he knew.”
– Julie James

SYNOPSIS: After an accident on a winding road, four teens make the fatal mistake of dumping their victim’s body into the sea. But exactly one year later, the dead man returns from his watery grave and he’s looking for more than an apology. – via IMDB

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GRADE 5This was big when I was a rugrat. I mean huge. This is something I saw quite a few times. I might not have loved the crap out of it then, but it was okay. Seeing it all these years later? Sheesh. There really were some bad flicks that came out in the nineties. It’s like… the film is actually pretty funny because it is so silly, but it tries to take itself too seriously, and that is what hurts it.

Anyway, I don’t have an awful lot to say. I can’t help but think that this film embodied the nineties in so many ways – I think the most obvious is the stars attached to it. Ryan Phillippe nails that rich, crazy, spoiled brat, and this was no exception. This was, however, one of the times I was not a big fan of him, and I usually enjoy him. I think it is more his character than him, but he was still just a meh character all round. The cast wasn’t actually bad. Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Ryan Phillippe, Freddie Prinze Jr, and Sarah Michelle Gellar? They all delivered their totally one dimensional characters just fine. Corny lines and all.

Anyway, the premise to this is actually so weak and over the top silly. I mean come on! These kids all look like they have been through the wringer, and nobody is wondering what the hell happened to this tight-knit group of elite friends to reduce them all to absolutely nothing? I don’t buy it. I really don’t. The movie was chock full of any type of horror cliché it could squeeze into it, and was predictable, but still relatively entertaining when all is said and done. It is fluffy and light and silly. The villain is actually so ridiculous, and that also really hurts the movie. The super sappy ending also didn’t help matters, either. My eyes went a-rolling.

Typical nineties teen slasher with a very recognizable cast, but ultimately is quite the flat, uninspired experience and doesn’t have much going for it. There are infinitely better popcorn entertainment horror/slasher movies out there to keep yourself busy with. I certainly won’t be rushing to rewatch this and its questionable content anytime soon.