Rapid Review: Final Destination 5 (2011)

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final destination 5

“You were supposed to die on that bridge. You’re not supposed to be here. You shorted death. So you let death have somebody else in your place, and you take their spot in the realm of the living. All the days and years that they have yet to live. And they take your place in death. Then the books are balanced.”
– William Bludworth

SYNOPSIS: Survivors of a suspension-bridge collapse learn there’s no way you can cheat Death. – via IMDB

final destination 5 bridge collapse

GRADE 6This was the only film in the franchise I had not seen up until the gory marathon I had recently, so I didn’t really know what to expect. While much better than the last hunk of junk in this franchise, there is still a lot wrong with this one. But, it really is am improvement, forgettable at the end of it all, but better. It returns back to the fun aspect, and manages to weave some silly romance through it, too. At least it didn’t linger on this too long, but it did for long enough to get a bit annoying at times. The acting is a massive improvement over the last film, that’s for sure, and it looked better, though the effects are still not great, and still trying to hard to sell that 3D thing (check the gif above). I did enjoy the bridge collapse at the beginning, while heavily edited and not as good as the plane crash or the highway pileup, it is relatively impressive and gory, and such weird deaths, too. The movie follows the same formula as all the other movies before it, coming in with someone foretelling a crazy accident, warning others, saving some, and then the survivors start dying, and then everyone is trying to find a way to cheat Death again. It works. It’s just been done a million times, so it starts getting annoying. Bludworth is such a consistent character, and I like how he is always being brought back. Final Destination 5 finds yet another potential way for the victims to fight Death and attempt to win their lives back, but it is not something that is a light decision to make for a simple solution. What I really did enjoy about this movie is how it successfully tied the entire franchise together neatly and cleanly, and did not feel like some rushed cop out, or some cheesy way to make a buck. It came full circle and handled that much better than most movie franchises, so I would like to give credit where it is due. Yeah, I don’t really have much more to say on this, so I think that will be it. Final Destination 5 is an alright watch and a decent entry into this series, that was doing mostly fine until The Final Destination came into play, but managed to close on a stronger note. These movies are worth checking out at some stage, and make awesome movie night material with friends/other halves, because there is just to much to rip off, have fun with, and laugh at. Definitely a return to form, and one I did not see coming.

As for the poll results of last week, we have the movies of this franchise ranked as follows:

  1. Final Destination (2000) – it would seem the original reigns supreme
  2. Final Destination 2 (2003)
  3. Final Destination 5 (2011)
  4. Final Destination 3 (2006)
  5. The Final Destination (2009)

So it would seem that last week’s pile of crap film is the least liked. Thanks for those who dropped by to vote!

Rapid Review: The Final Destination (2009)

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The_final_destination_poster

“Something’s gonna happen, we are all gonna die! All right? ‘Cause there’s gonna be a crash!”
– Nick

SYNOPSIS: After a young man’s premonition of a deadly race-car crash helps saves the lives of his peers, Death sets out to collect those who evaded their end. – via IMDB

the final destination

GRADE 2Holy. Shit. This movie. The acting. The graphics and effects! Next level, I tell you. Gosh, I think it is relatively on par with The Wrath of Paul Bunyan. Impressive as hell. These movies have a relatively simple recipe, they do. A big tragic accident gets witnessed/seen in a premonition, someone freaks out and saves some people, then people start dying in the order they are supposed to, the original freakee realises this and tries to save everyone. Unsuccessfully. Without fail. So while the movies are a rinse and repeat of one another, they are cheesy fun. Until this one, that is. This one is just so damn meh, I didn’t actually even watch it too closely, to be honest. It was also worsened by the fact that the graphics and effects were given front and centre stage, and they were nothing short of cringe worthy. Take a look at the poster. See how heavily they are marketing the 3D angle? Yes, so you can just imagine what it is that we got… the above gif is an example of some of the finer points of the sketchy effects. Ugh. I hated this movie. The acting was beyond godawful, the dialogue was next level dodgy, the characters were all immensely unlikable, the deaths weren’t even that creative, and this movie tried way too hard all the time, and it failed. Terribly. I really don’t know what else to say about this movie. It was bland, unimaginative, boring, terribly executed and stupid to boot. There was not saving it, not even normal bad horror logic, and it was unforgivable. Seriously, these movies could have just remained a trilogy, or could really just have been a single movie without a million sequels. But no, money was afoot, and the studios threw money into something that evidently failed. Horribly. Especially in the form of The Final Destination. This was just unacceptable. Over the past few weeks, it would seem that most of you wonderful readers are in agreement that this movie is the worst of the lot. Definitely followed by the fifth one. I think. Should we take a poll here to ascertain this? I think we should. Let me know what your favourite movie is in this franchise, I will post the results next week with the final one!

Rapid Review: Final Destination 3 (2006)

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Final_destination_3_poster

“Ok, what if, for example, the last in line were to make the utilitarian choice. Kill themselves. Well, wow, that’s pretty much gonna ruin any plan Death’s put in motion. And even better, I think that’s gonna save, five skipped lives. Any takers?”
– Ian McKinley

SYNOPSIS: A clairvoyant high school senior has a premonition of a fatal roller coaster accident at an amusement park that involves her and her friends. Her vision prevents her and her friends deaths, but the unseen forces of darkness once again set out to kill the survivors that were supposed to die in the freak accident. – via IMDB

final destination 3 beheading

GRADE 6.5Another film down! This was the last of the actual decent ones, if you ask me. The next installment is absolutely terrible! But this one? Still had things going. Yeah, still some cheesy effects, but not as bad as some of the others. Also, this one, while following the recipe, just felt a little different. I don’t know if that just boils down to it looking better overall. Let’s go with that. Final Destination 3 had some brilliantly gross and creative deaths in it, and I know one that particularly stands out is the tanning bed debacle, because really, that was some sick stuff right there. Eeeeew. Also, the nail gun death was also pretty nasty, and worked. Come on, we all know we watch these movies for some strange, complicated deaths and all, sketchy effects aside. You know, typical of a horror movie I can’t really complain of things that would be important in a normal movie. Example? How Wendy and Kevin weren’t friends to start with, and then after both losing their partners, they get really tight. I get that nothing brings people together faster than tragedy, but there was no way that it was built up, put together cleanly, just suddenly happened. But that is a typical horror film for you, logic is not the most important thing, the gore and death and fear is (though really, if you worked on it more, the fear would seep in better and linger longer, but then it is no longer a popcorn flick because it has substance). I also wasn’t a big fan of the concept of the photos showing how everyone was going to die. Sure, it was different from the others, and sure, it didn’t show exactly how they were going to go, but instead of the clues being hidden in other places, they were smack bang right there in the photos, and only there. Anyway, it was another fun watch, maybe not as good as the last two,  but not bad.

Rapid Review: Final Destination 2 (2003)

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final destination 2 poster

“Some people say there’s a balance to everything. For every life, there’s a death, for every death, there is a life. But the introduction of life that was not meant to be, that can invalidate the list, force Death to start anew. You have to follow the signs… Kimberly.”
– William Bludworth

SYNOPSIS: When Kimberly has a violent premonition of a highway pileup she blocks the freeway, keeping a few others meant to die, safe…Or are they? The survivors mysteriously start dying and it’s up to Kimberly to stop it before she’s next. – via IMDB

final destination log

GRADE 6.5So, here we are. Final Destination could have been a standalone film, but studios decided it would be best to create this huge franchise from it, and here we have the next installment. Definitely still one of the better sequels to watch, and it was pretty cool to see AJ Cook outside of Criminal Minds, though I love her there. The story is a little shakier in getting started as opposed to its predecessor, but it gets into the swing of things quick enough with plenty gore and blood to fittingly accompany the film. The film was never really going to showcase any deep, in depth characters, but it tried some clumsy attempts to get there. Too many annoying people, and the same “this is BS” argument is getting really old. Bringing Clear back was also something that worked in favour of the film, as it gave us a link to the first one, a character we knew and could root for, who gave the movie the edge because she’d beat the game before, even though it had cost her dearly, and she lives in a padded cell. Incidentally, this gives rise to a whole slew of other questions I just don’t even know how to answer – firstly, electronics in a padded room = fire, secondly, why no food poisoning? Death on vacation? You get the gist of it. Anyway, there are some pretty inventive deaths scattered throughout here to feed our bloodlust, and the story takes a new spin on how to fool and escape Death, so at least they were still pushing for originality. The effects and CGI are, again, a little sketchy, but it’s alright, sort of a trademark for these movies. I think these movies are really fun for a movie night with friends – popcorn, gore, spans to laugh at.

Rapid Review: Final Destination (2000)

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final destination poster

“In death there are no accidents, no coincidences, no mishaps, and no escapes.”
– Bludworth

SYNOPSIS: After a teenager has a terrifying vision of him and his friends dying in a plane crash, he prevents the accident only to have Death hunt them down, one by one. – via IMDB

final destination flight 180 blows

GRADE 7I popped this in looking for some old school cheese, and I wasn’t disappointed. These movies were never going to be great, ever, but they can provide some mindless entertainment, and were definitely worth throwing in at the beginning of the series, before they got super terrible. I think this is one of those instances where it should have been a standalone, but with more effort done to it so it wouldn’t be forgettable without the slew of sequels. I remember this movie was so big when I was younger, it was everywhere, so you must know how many times this was seen at movie nights, etc. Anyway, pretty simple story coupled with some semi-sketchy acting would result in your average horror, and Final Destination does not deviate much from the formula. This is not necessarily a bad thing. There were tons of creative deaths (at the time), spans of cringe-worthy dialogue, Devon Sawa at his height of fame as well as some Ali Larter thrown into the mix. I had fun – exploding planes, beheadings, rogue buses, constant freak accidents? Yep, Final Destination had it all, as well as some silly romance permeating the story, and all that random, 90’s teen anger that has always been in the older movies, captured by Kerr Smith. I don’t know, everything about this movie screams 90’s teen horror, and that is okay, but definitely not as good as some of the other horror/shasher films we got that decade (though we got our fair share of super sketchy, too). The story, in my opinion, could have done more with itself, but chose not to, so you get a relatively standard horror flick at the end of the day. The special effects in this movie ran rampant, although they are certainly not the worst in the franchise, it is something that turns me off in a movie – an overkill of effects. Especially when they too dodgy and half-assed. I don’t actually have too much to say about this, and I am sure that the large majority have seen this movie, so you should all know how you feel about it, more or less. Some good, some bad, some downright sketchy, so Final Destination.