Review: Wonder Woman (2017)

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“I will fight for those who cannot fight for themselves.”
– Diana Prince

SYNOPSIS: When a pilot crashes and tells of conflict in the outside world, Diana, an Amazonian warrior in training, leaves home to fight a war, discovering her full powers and true destiny. – via IMDB

So I am sure my husband and I were some of the few who did not see Wonder Woman in cinema. I didn’t expect much of it before it came, and I was really surprised when the rave reviews started pouring in, which piqued my interest. I then wanted to know if this was really as good as everyone was making it out to be. So finally we sat down to it and watched it, and I liked it (but didn’t love the crap out of it like most did).

This is probably one of the best DC films to come since Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy. For reals. Warner Brothers churns out some fantastic trailers for these substandard films for sure, and it is a pity because DC has some super awesome stuff to bring to the table. Wonder Woman is certainly not perfect, but it definitely demonstrates a marked improvement on what we have so far.

Yes, yes, there is the strong feminist message here that has been discussed to death and debated back and forth, so I only want to touch on in long enough to say that it was really nice to see a female heroine, a woman to come in and own on screen, and Gadot did just that. She is impressive to watch here, and I certainly think she is a great casting choice. It is refreshing to see how a woman here can be strong while being feminine, optimistic, emotional and be allowed to cry and not be looked at as weak. The movie addressed how women have been dismissed for centuries, but it didn’t feel too preachy or anything, just showed that it is a bizarre concept, and that Diana was going to do her thing despite what society expected of her. I liked Gadot and Chris Pine together, I thought they shared some decent chemistry, though I really feel that their romance was a bit too brief and quick.

I feel that the CGI was a bit awkward and rather bad at the best of times, and I feel that the movie had an incredibly long run time that didn’t seem justified. It was really long, but didn’t feel like it actually used the time properly, if that makes sense? It was like not much happened, or was fleshed out properly. I guess we will just call that pacing issues. Also, the humour was quite cheesy at times, too.

I also felt a little cheated that Robin Wright was in and out so quickly – it made me think of how Bryan Cranston was used as a big selling point for Godzilla, and ultimately you are left feeling cheated. That being said, she was really good here. I thought that Hippolyta was quite annoying – she was overly possessive and came across as cowardly and not like a strong queen, which is a pity because I think that is because something here was rushed and not looked into quite properly.

Overall Wonder Woman is quite a decent watch. Not the perfect movie, and certainly not the first super strong woman we have seen on screen, but it is quite a fun watch. It didn’t feel too long, though there were some issues with what it felt like the movie contained afterwards, and had some good costume design. Gadot is particularly good here, and certainly has you interested in Wonder Woman – totally interested in seeing where she goes from here, and how she holds her own with the guys later on. I am looking forward to seeing what comes from future DC films, to see how Wonder Woman influences their marketing, writing, and implementation.

Twilight Saga Review (2008 – 2012)

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twilight saga complete collection

Alrighty, I know this is Thursday and there should be a book review, but that will go up tomorrow. I have to complete this run of Twilight Thursdays properly. Might as well disrupt my OCD for one day 😛

gir eye twitch

Recently I sat down to watch these with Natasha for a Shitfest 2015 entry after I had read those godawful books (which most of you have read all about over the last few weeks). At any rate, I was not watching them alone. In actual fact, I was not going to watch them ever, at all, but after some mild forceful coercion, the Kidney won out and I prepared to watch them. Prepared, because I faffed around for ages, prolonging the inevitable. But eventually it happened.

However, something was soured for me. Completely. They are by no stretch of the imagination good movies, but I have read the books (ugh), and in terms of that, it cannot be denied that they are actually pretty decent adaptions. How does that work? Crappy books get loyal adaptions and remain shitty movies, while good books get crappy adaptions and ruin stories? Gosh, the world we live in. I really should consider another career.

book slappers movie job

Two big reasons that I actually made it through these movies:

  1. Jackson Rathbone is absolutely ridiculously fucking hot and yummy and he happens to portray the one character I simply adore;
  2. The fact that Natasha damn near bolted me to the couch. And found it highly amusing to watch me wallow in my unhappiness. My bestie is sadistic…

jackson rathbone smile omgjackson rathbone yumjackson rathbone smile omg2jackson-rathbone-hmmjackson rathbone

Huh, what? Sorry, sorry, got a little sidetracked there. I am back. Okay wait, last one…

jackson rathbone

However, after surviving these movies (and believe me, I had my doubts along the way that I would), I cannot help but have a soft spot reserved for them because I had ridiculous amounts of fun watching these with Natasha, ragging them blind, clinically assessing the type of adaption they were from the books, both of us having feminist freak out sessions because Bella is a useless lump and suicide is not the answer when your love moves along, but really, ripping it apart was a sheer blast. This does not make them good movies, I want that on the record. I don’t know if I can watch these again, or if I could ever view them on my own, but with the Kidney it was well worth it.

Ten points to Gryffindor. Bella evidently missed the lesson.

Alright, enough waffling (see, even now I am still procrastinating). I am going to talk about some things, but I will keep myself (mostly) in check.

The Good:

  • Casting choices. No, seriously. Most of the casting was done pretty well in here. Most of the time. The performances were also about as good as you could get on this level (a bit… uhm… wooden at the best of times, but they all tried). Michael Sheen was pretty entertaining, even when he ventured into territory that was a little dodgier than was required.
  • Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson actually managed to bring some passion to a really dead relationship (in the books – in there it was just poison, no passion), and they have to be given credit for it, even if they were a little wooden at times.
  • The Volturi’s outfits when they came for their showdown. Really good. You can’t blame me… you know how I get about the sweeping cape-like look… eeek. Plus there were all black and red and luscious and lovely.

volturivolturi guard

  • Jackson Rathbone. I would just like to take a minute (again) to wax lyrical here about how insanely gorgeous the man is. I mean, how hot is this guy?! He isn’t in many other things, which is a serious pity, and I have always enjoyed him. I guess I will take what I can get.

jasper spinning baseball batjasper baseball hot

  • Obviously I enjoyed the way the baseball scene was cobbled together, and not just to get an eyeful of Jasper… I swear… *super innocent whistle*
  • The wedding scene was really well done. I will have to give them credit for that.
  • Pattinson has the world’s most smug smile to demonstrate when Edward is getting his way, and I love it. I can’t help it, he starts smirking and then I do, too.

edward cullen smirk (2) edward cullen smirk

The Bad:

  • Some things were changed from the book to add more drama. As if things weren’t melodramatic enough.
  • Some extremely questionable effects, which is unacceptable in the later movies (where they got so much worse) considering the budget increased. How is it that the smaller budget films managed to look that much better? It evades the limits of my understanding. While we are at it, how you could see which sets were backdrops and what not. Awkies.
  • I was actually really, really looking forward to all the betting between Jasper and Emmett. Absolutely no such luck for me there, and it was the one thing that actually provided significant entertainment in the books. They were relentless.
  • Bella was whiny in these films, but seeing as it wasn’t internal dialogue for us to wade through like the books (thank goodness), it was more bearable, but I still wanted to shake her and slap her. She does not need Edward to breathe, there is no need to kill yourself if you cannot be together. The things this story taught young girls. Ugh. The feminist in me is revolting again just thinking about it.

bella swan sandwich feminist setback

  • The wolves communicating with each other telepathically (which would have been bearable if done correctly). I actually cringed. Like holy crapsticks….
  • That baby that they made up as Renesmee? Good gracious, that thing was just creepy. WTF was angelic about that?! #confused

The What-The-Fuck:

  • The love story between Bella and Edward. Goodness, true to the books it just came out of nowhere and became an obsession. I just… I don’t… what… it’s… so dangerous and creepy and scary and dodgy and poisonous and… eeeeek.

twilight abusive

Somebody checked off that list here with examples.

  • Always the descriptions about how dreary and overcast it is in Forks (in the books). Which is fine. Twilight and New Moon both stuck to that concept for the movies, but the last three? Vampires everywhere in the sun with no freaking sparkles. And not because I am into the sparkles, this is purely based on consistency and continuity…. because who cares? Chuck it right out of the window.

supernatural kill the sparkling vampires for free

  • Natasha’s biggest gripe (and I am wholeheartedly behind her on this): all these books and movies teach you is that you can only be a real woman after you have gotten married and popped out some kids. Nice, really, very classy. I cannot be complete without a man, a ring, a rugrat. Men are what women need to be whole, apparently. Our very core and essence. Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. What the fuck? Are you kidding me?!

stephen king twilight comment

Stephen King was so totally right about this. He also went on to say what he wanted about Meyer and her godawful books here, and actually had a girl criticize Stephen King for knowing nothing about real books. OMG?! REALLY?! Yes. Quote? “Steven [sic] King doesn’t know what a real book was if it hit him in the face. He’s just a bloody guy who is jealous of Edward’s good looks.” – I don’t even know if I want to comment on that.

  • The fact that this is some huge phenomenon actually hurts my head. How did this happen? How?! It’s twisted and creepy and toxic!
  • How a love story could become so massive when it is flat, bland, unsexy, completely devoid of passion, but rates highly in the dangerous and toxic department. Is this what girls want nowadays? Stalker husbands, controlling boyfriends? I am so confused. Or I am too independent. I don’t know.
  • Naming your child Renesmee. Seriously, what the fuck was up with that?!
  • That even in the movies, Meyer’s supporting characters are still the ones you want to know more about. That is just something that boggles my mind, that she writes the most useless mains, but her supports are really good. I don’t understand.

what-is-this-i-dont-even

  • How they took one of the things that was actually excellent in the books (the history of the Quileutes, their legends and why they are as they are) and managing to bone it completely. That wasn’t even the right history, or the same, or told as gracefully. Meh. What the hell was the meaning of this?! It’s embarrassing to say the least, ruining the one thing that worked. Offensive.
  • I will never understand how it was socially acceptable for Jacob to be head over heels in love with Bella and making out with her and lusting after her and hating Edward to death, but then imprinting on their daughter (like OMG) and she becomes his life… because that isn’t a little sick and incestuous at all… no ick involved!

twilight snape voldemort mean girls

Then there was this article, one of the millions of articles you would find on the matter of how the cast hated the movies I know, but still. Also, this one had me giggling quite a bit, it really captures how silly things were at the best of times in the first book, Twilight. The AU-DA-CI-TY, I tell you!

So, overall, I have definitely watched infinitely worse movies in my life. I have, sadly. I am sure you have, too. I wanted to hate and despise these more than I did. They still sucked. They are Shitfest worthy. But maybe because I had way too much fun on the viewing experience, it lifted them all up for me a little. But I can recommend them if you are looking for a movie to watch with your bestie and trash beyond any and all logical reason.

supernatural vampires