The Potter Perceptions: The Goblet of Fire (2005)

harry potter and the goblet of fire

I was dreading this one… I really was. After The Prisoner of Azkaban so captivated Eric, I was sure that he would just remain in his excited little bubble for what was to come next. But I didn’t have faith that his bubble could protect him from this rubbish. So now to see if this movie was purely ruined because the book was better, or because the movie just sucks. I honestly feel that Axis of Awesome has it right in Rage of Thrones – Hollywood cannot live up to the power of imagination! 😛


After being particularly impressed with Azkaban, I was kind of excited to see this go in a more mature direction – and hopefully like this one too. After I fired this up that feeling of excitement started to diminish quickly when I noticed that Pooter and Weasley were sporting women’s hairdos and they were able to access another realm by touching an old, dirty boot. They touch the boot and spin around like a human pinwheel, enter another realm of magic and wizardry and fall 600 feet, but it’s all good – they’re tough kids, I suppose.

Then these two red headed kids do some singing and dancing and Harry’s having bad dreams and the flying soccer ball match gets attacked by terrorists and then they take a boat to Hogwarts instead of the train and suddenly they’re hosting the 400th annual Wizard Triumvirate (or something) and that pasty schmuck from Twilight is in it and Harry turns into a fish and swims underwater with his eyeglasses on and the CGI is TERRIBLE and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

The last twenty or so minutes of this were pretty decent – mainly because Ralph Fiennes shows up but they don’t make up for the last 12 and a half hours it took for me to watch it. I mean really, Harry is this guy who isn’t scared of giant spiders and serpents and dragons and ghosts but he’s too scared to ask a chick out to the formal cotillion? And that sequence when they come out of the clouds after touching the boot – REALLY? What is this THE SOUND OF MUSIC?? Dangle dangle dangle walk on air…. I also can’t stress how poor the CGI is in this – you would think that with the type of money this series made and the funds they pumped into it, they could make a decent looking mermaid.

Oh well… I guess we press on…


The good:

  • Alan Rickman. I know I hammer on him being an amazing Severus Snape, but he never fails to disappoint.
  • Roger Lloyd-Pack as Barty Crouch, he had that role down! Stiff, unyielding, no humour, great.
  • The minuscule dragon replicas. They really looked great.
  • Rita Skeeter. She just looks revolting, her makeup, hair and nails just screamed who she was.
  • The Unforgiveable Curses. They were not too bad.
  • The Goblet of Fire. It looked really good and it was so cool how the flames shot out properly and changed colour, and the way that it looked when giving the name slips was awesome.
  • Fred and George Weasley. Again a bag of laughs, especially trying to get over the age line.
  • Draco Malfoy. He really made a great ferret!
  • Viktor Krum. Stanislav Ianeski did a good job.
  • Triwizard delegations arrival methods. The Beauxbatons carriage and Durmstrang ship were very well done.
  • Moody’s office. Had all the Dark detectors and the massive trunk and a Dark air to it.
  • The prefects’ bathroom. It is very well done, and looks good.
  • Neville Longbottom. Matthew Lewis was just great for the role.
  • The gillyweed effects. They were done right but the CGI sucked for it.
  • Ralph Fiennes. Now that was a great casting choice for Voldemort.
  • Voldemort’s rebirth. It looked fantastic, and the way his robes fluttered almost like smoke was simply stunning.
  • Wormtail. Still very well cast.
  • Death Eaters. Their apparating looked good, as well as their attire.
  • Priori Incantatum. Showed correctly.

The bad:

  • Barty Crouch Junior. He was revealed right in the beginning of the film as opposed to an end shocker.
  • The Quidditch World Cup. It sucked. That is all.
  • The Triwizard Delegations. They just arrive, just like that. No explanation until way after as to who these people were and what they were there for.
  • Triwizard delegation introductions. Stupid dancing and prancing and sighing. I mean truly now?!
  • Ludo Bagman. Where was he?
  • The CGI. That is all that I am going to say on the matter.
  • Where discoveries were made. Such as Sirius telling Harry things that he was supposed to learn in the Pensieve, which we don’t even really get into in this film.
  • Madam Maxime. How much bigger than Hagrid could she possibly be?!
  • Bill and Charlie Weasley. Pity they got overlooked!
  • No Winky. She was pretty important for plot twist reveals and character building.
  • No Percy Weasley. No Percy and his Ministry of Magic and Crouch obsession.
  • The first task. What the hell was the meaning of an escaped dragon that knocked itself out? How preposterous!
  • Mad-Eye Moody. Argh. This just upsets me every time. Brendan Gleeson was not flawed, just the entire way Moody was presented as well as his appearance. Not what it should be, though the portrayal it self was fine.
  • Albus Dumbledore. I love the dude and all that right, but neither of these actors managed to capture his essence. This Dumbledore was pretty vicious and violent and screaming and manhandling Harry all the time.
  • The movie’s portrayal of Krum. Not that the actor did a bad job, it is just the people that did the script make him look like a totally horrible person and into Dark stuff and all.
  • Harry and Cho were not really explained well.
  • Fleur Delacour. I really expected more.
  • Who the hell baths with glasses? Except Harry Potter, of course?
  • Excluding Dobby. Neville was not the one that helped Harry with the gillyweed.
  • The CGI and the second task. SUCKED.
  • Barty’s death. That was it? Just like that? No transfiguring his corpse to a bone and burying it, no rush to beg Harry to listen?
  • The whole way through the maze is faulty, seeing as no obstacles were faced.
  • No Dementor’s Kiss for Barty.
  • The Order of the Phoenix not called together.

This movie was pretty damn confusing. I know what was supposed to be going on because I read the books, but nobody watching me really got it, and kept asking questions, and didn’t get it all at the end. There was a lot that was not correctly explained in here or included, and a lot fell flat. I intensely disliked this one, but I know that is sounding like a common tune with me, but I need credit for at least trying!  (See, my pro’s lists are getting bigger? Right? Anyone? Hello?)

Review: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets – JK Rowling

2 - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Adult's Cover

Harry Potter #2

Harry Potter is a wizard – a young wizard living with his insufferable aunt, uncle and major bully cousin. But never fear – he will be returning to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry soon. If he doesn’t starve during the summer, that is. After an incident where a house elf named Dobby paid Harry a visit and begged him not to return to school, Harry is imprisoned by his relatives. The Ministry of Magic is convinced that Harry performed magic in front of the muggles, though it is not the case. However, his best friend Ron Weasley and his mischievous twin brothers Fred and George turn up in a flying car to rescue him, and Harry’s summer went from being the worst ever to one of the best ever. However, when Harry and Ron attempt to board the Hogwarts Express, they cannot get through the barrier. In the midst of their panic, they steal Mr Weasley’s Ford Anglia and fly to school, and end up in a ton of trouble. The glorious entrance that they envisioned is crushed by the car crash into the violent Whomping Willow. They are fortunate enough not to be expelled.

Soon all the students return to Hogwarts, and Harry is having a hard time with his celebrity status amongst some of the new students who have arrived, and it causes him immense frustration. As though that was not enough, their new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is famous, and convinced that he can help young Harry along the way to greatness. Strange things start to happen at Hogwarts, and Harry is grievously injured at a Quidditch match, which resulted in a broken arm due to a rogue Bludger in play. Naturally everyone assumes the worst. As though he does not have enough issues on his plate, he hears a cold, disembodied voice floating around the castle that nobody else seems to hear. Vicious attacks start within the grounds, resulting in some people being Petrified, and everyone is terrified. A warning tells them that the Chamber of Secrets has been opened, and that enemies of the Heir should be wary.

Harry, Ron and their close friend Hermione Granger start to look into the attacks. They are desperate to find out more about the history of the Chamber of Secrets, and Harry needs it more than anyone. At a duelling club it was discovered that he is a Parselmouth, something that Hogwarts founder Salazar Slytherin was renowned for, and something that is considered to be a trait of a Dark Wizard. He can communicate with snakes. Harry is right up at the top of everyone’s suspect list, and his innocence is not looking very good. Harry becomes immensely unpopular and avoided. The three are intent that if they could just speak to Harry’s nemesis Draco Malfoy, they would be able to figure out in an instant who the heir of Slytherin is, and who opened the Chamber fifty years ago. However, the answers that they uncover might not be the ones that they are looking for. The attacks increase and intensify, and terror grips the castle and all its inhabitants, no one is safe. What will they do if Lucius Malfoy is pushing for the removal of the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore? He is their keeper, he maintains their safety.

Will the three be able to figure out just exactly what is going on within Hogwarts, and what the dreaded monster is that has been unleashed from within the bowels of an undiscovered Chamber? What will happen if Albus Dumbledore is removed from Hogwarts? Will anyone be safe? Harry has never been more desperate to figure out what is going on, but what will he do once he uncovers the truth?

GRADE 8.5It was definitely a fantastic sequel to its successful predecessor. This book had a lovely story, again, and you learn more about the magical world with each and every endeavour you take to explore it more. Fred and George Weasley provided a great deal of humour when dealing with Harry’s heir of Slytherin rumours, and this book had plenty to make you smile. Dumbledore was again so mysterious, and I thought Harry’s and Ron’s arrival at the school was not nearly as dashing as they were holding out for. That Ford Anglia going wild in the Forest was also terribly amusing. Good timing, too. All the magical elements of this world are amazing, and I must be honest when I say that we do not have things like Howlers. I thought it was really well done how J.K. Rowling brought in discrimination like she did (Mudbloods and pure-bloods), it makes that world almost a little more… real. The entire concept of preserving oneself in a diary was also great, and Lord Voldemort’s name was also good, to see how he evolved, where he came from and a little bit of who he was before the total rise to the Dark Lord was good. I thought this was a fun book, entertaining, though it also had some body to it, what with the issues that were dealt with due to supposition and silly things like rumours.