Review: Pitch Perfect (2012)

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“John, a change of pace could not come soon enough here for the Barden Bellas. This is not a great way to start their season.”
– Gail

SYNOPSIS: Beca, a freshman at Barden University, is cajoled into joining The Bellas, her school’s all-girls singing group. Injecting some much needed energy into their repertoire, The Bellas take on their male rivals in a campus competition. – via IMDB

I was roped into watching this years ago and I wasn’t overly impressed with it, but since there are three of these things now and I was out of things to watch and I wanted something that required zero commitment from my side, I decided to give these a shot and see why people love them. Honestly, I still can’t see it.

Granted, I’ll give Fat Amy her due because stopping those twig bitches in their tracks was pretty sharp. Now, aside from that, all I could picture while watching this was Anna Camp as Sarah Newlin, telling Jason Jesus was alright with them boning. That is all that woman is ever going to be to me. The rest of the cast is alright in a totally bland and generic way, except Rebel Wilson who, of course, puts herself right out there – not necessarily with good lines or great jokes, but she just gets so into it you can sort of deal with having her around. Not all of the music in this movie was created equal, and some of it was really not that good. A lot of it was tired.

The humour wasn’t always to my taste, I found it just a bit icky, too, what with body and toilet humour, but I guess you can’t really expect more. There were also too many racist and sexist jokes thrown in here. I was totally let down by the lack of eye candy – for reals, the movie is just okay, but I didn’t even have something to look at and make it halfway okay. The story is completely generic and super bland, bringing nothing new to the table. It is ridiculously cheesy (and not the cool type) and incredibly predictable. Also, then there is Adam DeVine, and I don’t get why people like him. I find him to be annoying as hell.

Anyway, when all is said and done, Pitch Perfect isn’t really my scene and wasn’t that great. Oh well, I tried, and it totally ticked the boxes for me for a brainless, easy watch.

Review: Prom Night (2008)

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“I did this for us.”
– Richard Fenton

SYNOPSIS: Donna’s senior prom is supposed to be the best night of her life, though a sadistic killer from her past has different plans for her and her friends. – via IMDB

Goodness, gracious me. What a bloody mess of a film! Like, wow. I mean, I wasn’t expecting greatness, I was expecting a mindless horror to put on, chill throughout, but then there was this. It was… Shitfest terrible. For reals! There was absolutely nothing going on here!

Watching the title credits roll, I saw Idris Elba’s name pop up on screen, which piqued my interest. That is about as much oomph as the movie brought to the table. His performance was miles above any of the others, though Sheriff Stilinski Ashby was alright, too, and so was Ransone. Well, they were as good as they could be, considering. Brittany Snow was awful. The whole lot was awful, I am not even going to get into specifics here because… well, ugh.

The film lacked tension. Completely. You don’t give a crap about these characters or their “plight”, you cannot even root for the virginal final girl because, well, what a nuisance. You know that’s really bad. Elba swoops in and does what he can, but the script is truly beneath him. Not only are there no characters to root for, there is no fun to be had – not at this stupid prom, not the interactions between characters, and certainly not with the whole “slasher” aspect – no blood, no fear, nothing. It is just immensely disappointing all round.

While we are at it, the score sucked, and the dialogue was so damn cringey, and the plot progression was messy and the story flimsy. A flimsy story does not make for an awful slasher, but when there is nothing else to tempt you, it is a lost cause overall. There really is nothing to redeem this movie at all. It is predictable and lazy, and it is particularly offensive because it plods along and never really tries, so I can’t even give it points there.

People, seriously, you could totally just skip Prom Night and you wouldn’t be missing anything at all. Not a thing. The movie has no spine, no hopes, no dreams, and it will eat up your valuable time. It is wasted, and it is lost, and it is truly not a rewarding experience. Skip it, skip it I say!