“What ever happens, it wasn’t me.”
SYNOPSIS: Newlywed Molly moves into her deceased father’s house in the countryside, where painful memories soon begin to haunt her. – via IMDB
So I couldn’t even remember where I had seen a review of this and decided to check it out. I found out after the fact that it was something that dear Eric liked a lot (this after I told him I was sure I had stumbled upon my next Shitfest entry – when is that happening again???). Well. Pretty much from the off I knew that there were going to be problems with this. And I mean a lot of problems. All good and well we get Half Sack back for something, but it does not mean something good will come for it. For one, I was no fan of the dancing between found footage and regular shot movie. Well, I don’t like found footage usually ever, at all, but really, it was pointless here. The movie was slow, and it never actually divulged anything. It set up for jump scares that never happened, but this wasn’t done successfully where it keeps you on the edge of the seat. Oh no, this is done in the way where, finally, for half a minute, your interest is piqued for a moment, and then there is no payoff. Meh. Also, nothing was explained. Now, I am not one that likes too much revealed usually. Seriously, less is more at the best of times. I was all good for that, but then you look at certain incidents (a real rapey looking scene against a work wall, a priest dropping to his knees to eat out a naked girl on a porch) and all I can do is wonder why and how we got to this place. It doesn’t even make sense! Not to mention that the performances leave a lot to be desired, and the logic encountered in this film? Next level crazy I tell you! Now, something else that really got under my skin? The character inconsistencies. There is the dear husband, Tim, who seemingly adores his wife. They have no problems, they are happy, not once has there been alluded to that something might be wrong, so when we get to a random scene where he is, uhm, overly cuddly with the neighbour, it just doesn’t make sense at all. I could totally have gotten on board with the concept of her potentially being crazy or the house was crazy or there was some haunting, really, it could have been interesting but it was handled terribly here. I didn’t like any of the characters, so I couldn’t care for them. The movie also felt like it was only about a half century long. Ugh. So much wasted potential. I really thought it would be more (sorry Chop). I was peeved but oh my goodness, my husband was livid and hopping, ready to go out and decree that all filmmakers producing crap like this should be shot, and was ready to start with the guilty parties of this. Luckily, I talked him down. Luckily. He was more pissed about this than It Follows. I didn’t even see the whole “From The Makers of The Blair Witch Project and The Lord of the Rings” until later, but that second name dropping part just pisses me off – this is totally not in the same league. Don’t put it up there. Thank goodness I didn’t see that before I watched it. I am sure that it would have, if possible, just have made this worse than it already was. Somehow, I am sure of this.