Rapid Review: The Cottage (2008)

the cottage 2008 poster

“That’s chlorophyll for you.” 
– David

SYNOPSIS: In a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks loose. – via IMDB

the cottage 2008 david and andrew

GRADE 7So, Eric highly recommended this for me, and who was I to argue? I am a big fan of Andy Serkis and would probably watch him in anything. Anyway, when Eric told me to check out this horror comedy of Serkis, naturally I was all over it. Popping it in, relaxing, I was ready. I had a few laughs thrown through it, and I think this would appeal to viewers who have a slightly darker or more morbid sense of humour than your casual moviegoer. Serkis does a wonderful job portraying David, who is mean, angry, smarter than his brother or silly partner, but who definitely is in a bad place because his partners-in-crime are not criminals. They just suck. Reece Shearsmith was very entertaining as David’s whiny and useless lump of a brother, who really is one of the biggest reasons that things start to go wrong. His mottephobia really had me going, especially with the exchanges between him and David. Steven O’Donnell was perfectly cast as the guileless Andrew, who seems to care for his sister in a bizarre way, but was prepared to get involved with the plan to have her “kidnapped” and ransomed. Jennifer Ellison amused and irritated me in equal measure. For one, I liked that Tracey took no crap whatsoever, and had a mouth like a sailor, but sometimes instead of coming across as strong and a bit bitchy but self-assured, she just annoyed me, carrying on too much and performing and what not. Ellison is not a particularly grand actress, which I think counted against the flick here. I cannot explain it adequately. The changing relationship between David and Peter was also worth watching. One must note, however, that this movie is not without flaws. Sometimes there is too much lull, sometimes some dialogue gets iffy, Ellison’s character can work on your nerves and the flow was sometimes interrupted by silly things that didn’t gel properly. The first half of the movie and the second half are almost two totally different stories, though they are pulled together eventually (albeit weakly if you really want to nitpick). At any rate, the score accompanies the film well, the laughs are dark but entertaining, it was shot well, and sticks to its genre and what it is working with, making it a pretty strong B-movie with a trippy third act.

24 thoughts on “Rapid Review: The Cottage (2008)

  1. Fairest IJB!!!

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!! Glad you liked it enough!! That’s all I could ask for!!




    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve never even heard of this before! Clearly I need to do some digging in The IPC archives. Also, I need to see more stuff with Serkis in it! He’s wonderful. Well done, Zoe! Might have to see about tracking this one down…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I found this one very entertaining and I loved it at the time but I pretty much agree with your review. I was always a fan of Ellison’s (it’s a big-boobed blonde thing), and while she got her start by acting in a British soap, she’s probably more well-known for glamour modelling. She has a nice voice, too. And she can dance. But yeah… I’ve forgotten my point. I have a lady-crush on her.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh this one sounds damn enjoyable! Plus, another reason to see Andy Serkis. Nice recommendation Sir Ipes, and great Rapid Review Miss Zoe.

    I am back from yet another Sporadic Chronicles hiatus. 😦 🙂 😉 😛 😀

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Also wanted to say thanks Zoe, for letting me use that idea of suits to inspire other posts. I didn’t want to look like I was blatantly copying you, so thanks for the seal of approval.

        Liked by 1 person

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