JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek – Nemesis (2002)

Well, here we are with the last of the Next Gen movies. There have been some decent entries, and some really meh ones, but aside from that, the whole project has been enjoyable, making even the bland ones tolerable. So… we all know that the Chop is not a Data fan (neither am I) or a supporter of Riker (though that I don’t really get), so how did he feel about this flick that featured a lot of both? Read on to find out what the Chop and I thought about this one!

SYNOPSIS: Captain Jean-Luc Picard and his crew return to battle a chilling new adversary… that just happens to hold a shocking link to Picard! In the wake of a joyful wedding between William Riker and Deanna Troi, Picard receives another reason to celebrate: the Romulans want peace and the captain will be the Federation’s emissary. But as the Enterprise heads towards Romulus, a brilliant villain awaits–harboring a diabolical plan of destruction and an unimaginable secret that will give Picard his most fearsome challenge. Shinzon, a Romulan-made clone of Picard, wants nothing less than the conquest of the Romulan Empire, the complete destruction of Earth and the death of Captain Picard himself. – via IMDB

Alrighty people. First, before I get into this, I just want to lament this for the other ladies. Now, understand, I am one that prefers a more slight guy, I am not into that whole Thor look and all, BUT Tom Hardy just looked ridiculous. I am so glad that he went from this:

to this:

Nevertheless, Hardy’s strange appearance did not detract from the fact that he delivered his character just fine, it’s just that the script could have been so much tighter and entertaining. Nemesis had such an entertaining concept that was (again) squandered.

Anyway, I actually don’t have much to say about this one. It wasn’t great, I wasn’t a fan, it was pretty long, but it did look fantastic, so there is that at the very least. It was predictable and brought nothing new to the table, though it had the potential to do so – why these films decided not to go the successful route with some of their plots is beyond me. I really liked the way this scene came together, and it was another destructive bit for the Enterprise that looked really good.

There was also the whole Data thing, which I thought was far too convenient. Meh,  not a fan of that. I was happy for Deanna and Riker, but really? The whole way to continue this movie with the honeymoon being lost laced through it?

I did have myself a little giggle though seeing Patrick Stewart having himself a blast in his little toy though.

Anyway, I’m finished now. There really is nothing to say about this at all, so I am going to stop trying to fish things out to say.

BUT I can put some more Hardy in for the ladies…

First off, I want to say this: Tom Hardy was weird looking when he was young and thin. I remember when I was watching LAYER CAKE (click that if you like) I tweeted those words and some chicks were like “BOOOOOO Isaacs, BOOOOOOO!” and “Go screw yourself, man!!!” and “YOU FUCKING SUCK!!!!” but I stand by this. You can even see a few hate filled comments directed at me in the comments section of that post (not really, but still, love you Kidney!) But here we are again and, as much as I like genuinely like the guy, I present:

That’s right. That’s a still from Star Trek: Nemesis. He plays the bad guy in this one. He’s also a clone of Jean Luc. I don’t really remember why he’s a clone of Jean Luc but he is and he wants to destroy the Earth. Oh wait, now I remember, the Remans (Not Romulans) cloned Jean Luc to put him into Star Fleet and infiltrate from within.

Yep.

MMMM HMMM.

Word.

SEMPER FI!! DO OR DIE!!!!

Here’s mud in your eye!!

MY EYE!! MY FUCKING EYE!!!

But seriously, I wasn’t too taken with this one either. I will give it credit for having some EXCELLENT special effects and the scene where the Enterprise rams that Romulan ship was pretty fucking EPIC but I think this franchise was running out of steam by the time this came out and, despite how epic that scene was, it was rather gimmicky. I mean, at one point Picard, Data and Whorf are tooling around a desert in a fucking dune buggy like they’re all pro dirt racers and – conveniently, they happen to find Data’s twin brother who is REALLY named B-4. MMM HMMM.  I wonder if they’ll pull out their trump card and kill Data at the end of this and conveniently have a replacement handy?? Yawn. There’s also more singing in this one. What is it with song and dance numbers with The Next Generation???? Oh well, peace out, TNG.

We’ll say goodbye now and give you a really, really tight, elongated hug: