Review: Ocean’s Twelve (2004)

ocean's twelve poster “We all go to the cops and confess to the Bellagio robbery. That averages twenty years for grand larceny for each of us. Yeah, that’d teach him.” – Danny Ocean The star team that pulled the heist on Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) is out and about, all living their wonderful lives. That ends rapidly when Benedict starts to hunt them down. Danny Ocean (George Clooney) has remarried his ex-wife, Tess (Julia Roberts), and she receives the first visit. He goes on the run, but aside from him all the other members are met with. Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon), Rueben Tishkoff (Elliot Gould), Livingston Dell (Eddie Jemison), Frank Catton (Bernie Mac), “The Amazing” Yen (Shaobo Qin), Virgil Malloy (Casey Affleck), Turk Malloy (Scott Caan), Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle) and Saul Bloom (Carl Reiner) get together to hear what the issue is. Benedict wants his $160 million that they stole from him back. At a meeting, it is established that between them all they will still be short by half.

Oceans-Twelve getting ready
“Look, it’s not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can’t talk about it and I can’t talk about why.” – Rusty

Everyone except Saul decides that they are going to Europe and they will plan a series of heists there to make the money up in time for the deadline. Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt) sets everything up and they set off. When they go in for their very first steal, the first stock certificate ever, they find that they have been beaten to it by another thief going by the name of The Night Fox. This does nothing but irritate them, and brings in the attentions of Europol Detective Isabel Lahiri (Cathering Zeta-Jones). She was an old flame of Rusty’s, and meets up with the team to warn them off of any further stupid thievery – she claims the Night Fox cannot be beaten: he was trained by the best. He was trained by the elusive “LeMarc”, and Isabel has been searching for both for years.

ocean's twleve the french chop
“Come on, he’s one guy, and he’s French.” – Turk Malloy

It comes out that the Night Fox is Baron François Toulour (Vincent Cassel), and Danny pays him a visit. He discovers there that he had been set up to steal the certificate so that the two could meet. Toulour is furious that the world regards Danny’s team as the best thieves in the world, and that LeMarc endorsed the sentiment. He wishes to set up a challenge to prove once and for all who is the best: Danny and his team need to beat Toulour to stealing the Fabergé Imperial Coronation Egg. The terms are simple: if they win, Toulour settles all of their debt. Things do not go as smoothly as everyone would have hoped, and their elaborate first scheme to steal the egg goes horribly wrong. Isabel is also hot on their tracks as to find it. Danny and his people are desperate to win this, but the predominance of the gang is arrested. Desparate to recover the egg, Linus comes up with a daft scheme – Tess needs to help them. Naturally she comes out to save her husband, but she, too, ends up locked up.

ocean's twelve prison
“I hope Danny and Rusty appreciate the fine job you did – in a tight jam? I’m really proud of you.” – Molly Star

How will the team escape this and steal the egg, thus settling their debt with Benedict immediately? They don’t seem to be doing well behind bars, and the time is running out. Will Toulour stick to his word if they best him? Will Benedict ever let it go that he was taken so grandly in his own casino? Ocean’s Twelve gathers a 6/10. It just lacked that spark that its original gave forth in an abundance. The cast was still great, and they played their characters excellently, it is just not nearly as smart as its predecessor, or nearly as well thought out. Everything looked pretty, but it was rather predictable in places. There was humour, that cannot be denied. I know I keep on referring to Ocean’s Eleven, it is just that with something that awesome you know anything that follows will be scrutinized. This just did not have the same kick and ferocity. It was not terrible, it had a story, though at times it was just far too flimsy and simple.

27 thoughts on “Review: Ocean’s Twelve (2004)

  1. I suggested we not talk about the sequels. 🙂

    And I agree. This one isn’t terrible, but neither is it good. Not as a standalone product. And certainly not in comparison to the exceptional first film.

    Good review.


  2. I never bothered with these two sequels after how pissed I was with the first one. Good work and thanks for putting yourself through this : )


  3. I was really disappointed in Oceans 12. I was such a fan of Oceans 11, but the sequel got too silly and was just all over the map. It felt like they were making it up as they went along! The only saving grace was the cast, who still can be fun.


  4. It’s kind of the same movie as the previous outing but seems to have lost all its likability. Perhaps everyone is going through the motions for the big paycheck…


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